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DAWG
Lv 4
DAWG asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

a short poem, please rate it.?

Oh why will she not come?

I await until deep in the night.

Oh how my mind does run.

No sleep,No rest, what a plight!

I beg my eyes to shut,

God please let me rest.

I'm stuck in this tiresome rutt.

It's upon me like a tigress,

a regular saboteur.

Go away and let me sleep.

oh how irregular!

I count the sheep!

But still she does not come.

oh damn tormenteur.

A glass of wine, a shot of rum!

warm milk or a sleeping pill.

Tranquillizer or a knockout punch .

anything to beat this Ill.

I am not asking for a bunch,

just a simple wish,

that I could sleep through the night .

For my mind to hush,

and sleep until the light.

Insomnia let me sleep,

You are so Inhumane,

Rest let me reap,

Before I go insane.

2 Answers

Relevance
  • ?
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    this is a beautiful poem.i liked it very much.you expressed your feelings so nicely.thanks for this good poem.10/10

  • 1 decade ago

    i think some of the rhymes used in this poem have been used too forcibly.... for example

    Oh why will she not come?

    I await until deep in the night.

    Oh how my mind does run.

    No sleep,No rest, what a plight!

    it just seems kinda forced to me

    as for a poem i'd say this is okay, nothing special, but not too bad.

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