Whats your input on my poem? ?

Question

just looking for opinions(:

there's a lot of things that i wish i could change. 
but tonight, everything else is far away.
for us, the stars would rearrange 
we'll spend the rest of our lives dreaming of this day.

taking our time & doing things right
its not love, but its deeper than anything i know.
the night is dark, but were so bright.
finally were crawling out of a shadow

medicine for a heart broken so many times
time after time, ive been given tears
i pray he doesnt follow the lead.
lets make this last lifetimes

please dont hurt me again
ive waited for something good for so long
everything has changed since then
lets prove the world wrong<3

? · Accepted Answer

This was good. You did a decent job painting the picture. 

I only have a couple things you need to work on.

1.Your third stanza. It doesn't follow the same rhyme scheme as the others.

2. Meter. The flow was really hard to keep with this. Rhyming poetry ALMOST demands to be on beat.

Keep writing.
Calvin

acres · Answer

i'm a ok respected member of the poetic international and in case you got here to a minimum of certainly one of my readings (that have get entry to costs upwards of £5000 mightn't I upload) i could inform you that one, it rather is crap. 2, it rather is crap. and 3, crap. you're actually not decrease out for the paintings they call "poetry". some persons are fortunate adequate to be born with the skills. You and countless others even although, seem to think of you may acquire the means by technique of repeadedly posting your failings on Y!A. you haven't any longer have been given any destiny as a poet.

Anonymous · Answer

i dont really read poems but i think its good i like best     the night is dark, but were so bright.

Wild Irish Rose · Answer

Wonderful once again! you have much talent.

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Whats your input on my poem? ?

4 Answers