Should I stay or should I go?

Question

My man and I have been together for just over three years. We've had our fair share of ups and downs in this time. Lately, it seems as though we are having more bad times than good. We have silly, petty fights almost every day. A lot of the time, I just agree with him, just to keep the peace, but I know that I'm not being true to myself. I love him but I don't know if I'm still in love with him. I don't want to give up on our relationship, but I can't carry on the way things are going. I feel as though I am losing myself. When we fight, we never really resolve anything... He'll distract himself by hanging out with friends and I throw myself into my work so I don't have to think about anything. I want to work things out, but I don't know how. We've spent three years together, and I think it's worth saving. It's gotten so bad that even our sex life is suffering. We haven't had sex in almost a week. We used to have sex four to five times a week! I just don't feel romantic towards him and in the mood for sex when we're fighting all the time.

What should I do? Should I just give up? Should I try to fix things? How do I start a conversation with him without getting all emotional and crying? I don't want him to feel as though I blame him for this. I think it's up to the two of us to do whatever it takes to get our relationship back to the way it was, but how do I start it?

brwneyedgrl · Accepted Answer

Well kinda hard to fix things when you keep agreeing with him just to keep the peace, and im thinking if u try to talk to him, he'll get defensive and you'll end up doing the same thing anyways..  My best advice is to write down your feelings.. and then give it to him.. then if he doesnt seem to care or if he starts an arguement.. then its time to leave.. sometimes it takes a person to leave to get someone to see how much damage they are causing.. first try to reach him, and if he cant be reached then you have to do whats best for you.. and hope that he opens his eyes and will want to work things out and fix them.. but it takes 2 to make that happen.. if not then chalk it up to hes not the "one" and find someone that you can be yourself with.

Anonymous · Answer

3 years of relationship is worth saving. If you end up crying whenever you strike a conversation then why don't you mail him about the things you going through and how you think you can work on it. To bring the spark back in your relationship, try the old tricks when you used in the beginning of a relationship. Watch the old pictures where you both were romantically involved or go on a candle light dinner and while you both get back talk about it peacefully.

jilllpilll · Answer

First of all, everyone fights, and most fights are over stupid things, like dirty socks.  My husband and I once fought about a boiled egg.... for three days.  This is what happens in a normal relationship, and YES, there are times when you will say "yes honey, you are right" when you really do not agree.  Here is the bottom line, You can be right, or you can be happy.  Choose one.  Sometimes being happy is the choice to make, and sometimes sticking to your guns and being right is also the way to go.

Steveyoung · Answer

I believe one thing in your relationship,love is in a small supply.why not call him and reason together,the practice of love brings peace and the knowledge of love brings happiness.

? · Answer

Try 1 last time, what Brwneyedgrl said, and if he doesn't do anything or progress, pack up and leave.

If you're not married, then break up whatever it was.

Anonymous · Answer

Give enough space and time for each other. Then try to talk the problems when both of you are calm.

Anonymous · Answer

its natural that we get first love and marriage and fight and finally live together with kids and full of love

locoroco · Answer

maybe  u should go to counselling ,  normal to feel up and downs, it also depends on his attitude.
if he didnt do his part of work, then better  leave him

mikeydamouth · Answer

If you want to keep on being unhappy, then stay. Otherwise, go.

DLM · Answer

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Should I stay or should I go?

10 Answers