Husband inviting overnight out of state guests/family as soon as I give birth?

He is the Daddy but you are the one giving birth. You need to tell him that you will be recovering from childbirth and learning to take care of your new baby and need at least a week or two of privacy to do that. Your mother is coming only to help you.

If he wants to pay for them to stay at a motel fine but otherwise not in the house for 2 weeks.

I would freak if my hubby tried that. My mother in law bullied or tried to bully the both of us into letting her come. I held my ground and my hubby really didn't want her here either. A couple yrs later his nephew had a child and she did go there for almost 2 weeks and it was horrible. Anyway unless they are coming to educate you and wait on you and take care of your house he has no business thinking they should be there his kids or not.

Good luck!

You really should have at least a couple weeks before people come over to stay. Or just not have them stay overnight at all. Tell him that if he wants to make up the beds and clean up the house for guests and make dinners and take time off work to entertain them, that's his call, but if he's going to leave you with all this, then no. You'll be tired, and in pain from stitches probably, and going through a learning curve in taking care of a baby. You have every right to not have guests, unless they're willing to help out around the house and are able to put up with a crying baby both day and night, without having their sleep disturbed. And having guests at all during the first month or two is kind of ridiculous, unless they want to help with household chores and can entertain themselves.

You are not selfish. Look for some good rates in reasonably price hotels in your area. Call her up and ask her which one she would prefer. If you husband wishes then perhaps he can offer cover the cost. But you should not feel pressured to have any overnight guests that you are not completely comfortable with.

And don't feel like you need to entertain even if the guests are there only in the daytime. If they are bored they can find their own amusements. They are old enough. And you might want to consider making meals ahead of time and freezing them, or simply plan on a lot of take out and sandwiches.

I don't think you're being selfish. It's best if they wait at least a couple weeks for you to feel healed up a little and adjust to breastfeeding and stuff. On the other end, I am a step-daughter whose father had a baby with his wife 2 years ago and I was unfairly excluded to the point that I wasn't even allowed to come to the hospital to just see my baby brother for a few minutes. Because she said I wasn't really his daughter since he didn't raise me. All very hurtful. One suggestion I'll make is calling his oldest daughter and maybe say to her how much you're looking forward to her visit and reassure her you want her to be a part of your lives and see if you can get her to plan on coming at a date convenient to YOU. I wish you the best.

my husband invited his mother to come out to visit when I have our baby, and I've really been trying to convince them that she can wait a couple of weeks. My mom will be coming, and I know that she will be a tremendous help, but I don't need both of them here. You're going to need some time to get used to having a baby around, and you won't want more people there than necessary. With my first baby my husband was on leave from a deployment to Afghanistan, so all of his family came out to see him because he was only going to be there for a short time, and it was miserable for me, I was just wishing that they would all just go away. Just because you don't want them there right away doesn't mean that you're excluding them at all, they're all more than welcome to come out in a couple of weeks.

Yes, you are being a little selfish, but I'd feel the same way in your situation. I live in the same town as all of my family and I didn't even want my mother-in-law coming over to help. Sometimes it was bad enough having my own mom around!

Some things to think about: Maybe your husband is just really excited that his other kids are going to have a new sibling. Are you really going to have to entertain a 17 and 18 year old? They might even help out!

just tell him that you are going to be exhausted for a while after you give birth and you dont think you will have the energy to take care of house guests.

you are not being selfish at all. i dont blame you. the only time i had visitors was when i was at the hospital. i didnt let anyone else come over because i was extremely tired and in pain because i had a csection. my husband understood and so did his family.

and you never know if you will have a csection. if you do, then you will be in pain and not want anyone over.

Since he's going to be away at work most of the time I would think he would respect your wishes and put off his reunion with his eldest until you've had a chance to get used to being a mother. If he can't understand that, your problems are bigger than house guest issues.

Tell him you don't want so many people around the baby in his/her first few weeks. You'd love for his kids to come around, but you would prefer if you waited a few weeks. The babies immune system is still developing and she needs to have as few people around as possible. Also, you will not be feeling so hot, so you need time to recover from childbirth.

He is probably just excited and proud and wants to share with his kids and family.

You just need to be honest with him about your feelings.

I think you should be able to have a couple of weeks with your baby. Tell him that you just want your mom there to help out and you don't want someone there that both of you don't even really know. Or talk to his oldest about it.