Am I being selfish by forcing my son to breastfeed?

It's obvious that everyone feels quite strongly about this because it's a totally emotionally charged issue. I have two children and have breastfed both - but both for only 3months... Eventually you just have to do what's best for yourself and your family. Both my boys are incredibly healthy with great immune systems. Choosing to move to formula after 3months worked for us, some of my girlfriends have nursed their children until 1 and 2 years old and a couple who really didn't nurse at all - that's all great - we DO NOT judge eachothers choices because each situation is sooooo very different. Be healthy, ENJOY your child and make the decision that best works for you, your family and especially your baby - a happy mom means a happy bub!

It took my son about that long to learn to latch normal. If you are giving many bottles he is fighting the breast because he knows it is easier to get milk for a bottle and you will give in!! If he always seems hungry make sure he is spending at least 15-20 minutes on the same breast so he is getting the good hind milk that will fill him up and give him the calories he needs.

My youngest son was an awful nurser and we struggled for about 2-3 months before everything calmed down. If he had been a first child I never would of made it nursing with him. Give it more time!!

If you want to ween him off the shield, let him nurse for 10 minutes on the same breast and then remove the shield from that breast, Your flow should of calmed down and he should not be so hungry and demanding and impatient at this point. Slowly move the time frame up until he no longer needs it!

Why don't you pump and bottle feed and then nurse at home?

Pump a few times a day and save the milk for when you are in public and can't deal with the struggles you have nursing him. When you are at home, put him on the breast.

Has the lactation consultant thought that maybe having you pump a little before you nurse him might help with the forceful letdown and overabundance of foremilk?

I think you need o revisit a lactation consultant. Around 10 weeks, my milk supply leveled out and I wasn't quite so fully all the time.

Also, how are you holding him for your feedings? In the traditional cradle hold, the forceful letdown might cause him to choke, but how about if you laid down side to side?

Pumping can be a hassle, but IMO, pumped breastmilk is worth the hassle before going to formula. If you choose to do so, invest in a high quality electric pump, or rent one from the hospital or babies R us. It sounds like your supply is fine so pumping might be a viable option.

Good luck to you both. Whatever you have to do to feed him, don't feel like a failure.

I had the same issues ( minus the shield) with my second. Forceful let-down and over supply. I'm surprised your LC didn't recommend weaning from the shield. Try block feeding. Feed only on opnr breast each feeding. Some women find tehy have to feed off of the same breast for several hours and then use the other one. I eventually got my forceful let-down and over supply under control. MY LO is 4 1/2 months now. Also, leaning back while feeding really helps with the choking issue. My left breast has a stronger let-down and for a long time my so wouldn't latch onto that breast unless i was leaning back

I doubt you saw a 'lactation consultant,' qualified professional "International Board Certified Lactation Consultant." I'm guessing you probably saw a hospital nurse self-styled as a 'consultant,' somebody with minimal (if any!) additional training.

LOTS of mums on here have been given a bum steer by these idiots. I am sorry. Chucking a nipple shield at you, with no useful advice, was not the thing to do.

I would strongly recommend getting in touch with _qualified_ support -- see http://www.drjacknewman.com/help/Finding%20A%20Bre...

This should not be such a hassle, and with proper help it will not be such a hassle, so definitely...yeah. Get better advice.

Pumping and using bottles is NOT good advice here, and it is quite likely that the bottles you have been using are contributing to your problems. The whole pumping and bottle-feeding thing rarely works out as people hope -- it is a terrific amount of work and it is very difficult to maintain a milk supply when the kid is not nursing. Note that the 'pump and give a bottle!' 'advice' invariably comes from mothers who did not manage to nurse exclusively or for very long. It will not look like good advice when you are stuck trying to wean a 1yo off the bottle, not look like very good advice when you have a sickly 8mo who keeps getting colds because he is not getting his mother's milk as supply ran out thanks to no direct nursing, not look like very good advice when the kid is screaming as you are rushing to fix a bottle instead of just putting him on the breast...

...which should really be much less fuss than all this stuff with the shield. Here's an excellent page on them: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/wean-shie...

If you could get him off the shield and off the bottles your nursing experience would be much more pleasant. I do encourage you to view this in terms of: he needs this stuff to thrive, not "forcing him to breastfeed." He needs to eat and why make the chemicals peddled by Nestle et al an option? He is having feeding problems, sure, but it is not your milk that is the problem. Do browse previous Q&A about horrific constipation and acid reflux issues that come with formula use; breastfeeding is not "uncomfortable for him."

It will be much easier to feed him out and about in the future (and lugging bottles and being worried about that is a pain in itself, not freedom for you); in the meantime, you might just nurse in cars and fitting rooms if it is a real problem getting him latched without a fuss.

Really -- you got poor advice at the start, and you are not getting very good advice here, so your best course of action would be to find qualified help. LLL will help for free, but an IBCLC will be cheap compared to the cost of formula. You will not regret making a little extra effort to sort things out now, but you will likely regret going to bottles.

Just pump and give him the bottle. If it's less of a struggle and nursing aggravates him, why put him through that?

Honestly the "bonding" thing is over-exagerated. Bottle fed babies bond just as well with their moms, and they get the bonus of bonding with dad too. ; )

You're lucky the problem is the baby and not you! Some moms want to feed their babies breastmilk but can't no matter how hard they try. At least yours will still get the benefit of his mother's milk. It's not a big deal if it comes from a bottle. He really doesn't care as long as he's eating! lol

If you're able to get enough milk for him from pumping then why not just pump and give him a bottle? I have nursed all 3 of my boys and love it but, if it's getting you down then maybe try giving him the bottle with your milk instead. He'd still be getting the best milk in the world-yours!

Maybe you should just pump and give him bottles since he does better with bottled breastmilk it also seem more easier for you to do that just remember his still getting your milk just by a easier and more seemily better way your still breastfeading and remember he's your son you carried him for 9 months whuch is bonding and you have the rest of your life to bond with him

I'm not a mom so I can't give you first hand experience. But your breastfeeding experiences don't sound like it's helping either of you. It's effecting your son's feeding and stressing you out, which babies pick up on. Your stress will make him stressed. I would say to continue to pump and bottle feed, but make sure you continue the contact. Hold him close and continue doing the things you would be doing when breast-feeding. I would share your concerns with your consultant or doctor and see if she has any professional advice.