Transgender women, when...?

Question

Ladies, I incorrectly worded a question a while back. As a young person who fully expects to transition someday, I am currently still quite timid about the very things that exemplify womanhood. I enjoy wearing makeup but still feel a bit silly because I don't have my face figured out. I am still relying upon the illusionary tactics of a drag queen to feminize my face. I enjoy getting dressed but still feel a twinge of panic when I hear my partner come down the hall. I was trying to ask about when these feelings that I'm 'just playing around' will die down. I know that I've lived 20 years as a male and am still conditioned to react as such...so when did your own conditioning stop or recede? I see so many strong women that are comfortable at their own levels and I'm not in a rush, but it helps greatly to know where one fits in a range or scale.

Stephanie · Accepted Answer

Well that is a big key. You need to find comfort in yourself. Took me years to look in the mirror, and finally accept the image that was staring back at me. Who I was, what I am , and what to do about it. We fight with many things. We fight over who we are, the inner conflict that has haunted us since earliest memories. Then we fight over what to do about it, stay, go transition. Then we fight the fear to actually do it. I used to get up, spend an hour getting ready to go to the corner store for a pack of cigarettes. I was so self conscience about my appearance, and how people would view me. This day and age, I wake up on a Sunday, wash my face, throw on jeans and a tank top, hair in a pony tail, and do my grocery shopping. The hardest thing you will ever do is find comfort in your own skin. When you do this, nothing matters really. Take a look here http://www.transgendertalk.com Look in their forums, some of the girls posted great stories of fears and success`s of transition. How they got over them, and what happened when they came to their own level of acceptance. Best of luck (HUG)

Anonymous · Answer

Your guy facade will eventually die off when you're out to everyone and you start to live as yourself. Instead of consciously checking your behavior, consciously act like yourself. Just because you look like a guy doesn't mean you have to act like one. Pre estrogen I tried to live as if I was already on it and now pre op I'm trying to live as if I'm post op. Basically stop considering yourself any kind of guy no matter what you look like and you will be free.

pj · Answer

hi hon.  both previous answers have just nailed it in my opinion.  the more you worry about it the more you have to worry about...the more time you spend worrying the less time you have to live it.

i think you have hit on a profound fact as well.....too many of us are trying to present the illusion of femininity instead of our own reality.  for really good looks there is no "range"....the secret is to look as much like yourself as you can.....that's your whole range.  remember, "passing" is for men trying to look like women.....women don't pass, we are.

if you want others to be comfortable with you...you have to first become comfortable with yourself.  don't try to present the image of a woman, present your image....if that is female...if you are transsexual...then, of course.....you will look like the woman you are.

stay away from the "transgender" influences.....that paradigm is dominated by men trying to present the "illusion" of femininity, they won't help you at all...illusion isn't your goal....reality is.

God bless with much love and hope.  pj

Trending News

Transgender women, when...?

3 Answers