I think I might have borderline PD?

I was reading my psychology book and this is the first time I've ever considered that possibility.

I'm either pathologically jealous of my friends, especially one in particular, to the point where I can't be friends with them anymore because I would tear them apart, or I love them to death. There is no middle ground with my mom, I either hate her or love her and it's extremely situational. I've gone through a wide range of career choices and college choices, from lawyer, to nutritionist, pyschologist, to journalist, not even gonig to college at all, actress, going to college in europe-which recently caused a fight with my mom because I told her I no longer wanted to go after we made the arrangements for it. I realized I'd be extremely alone out there, though I'd have some family, I still felt extremely unstable going. This argument caused me to cry hystarically and not come out of my room for about 2 days. I'm not planning to see a doctor about this, because I don't want anyone else to know I have this, and I don't have the money for therapy. I thought this was normal behavior until I read my psychology book, so in turn I might be worrying about nothing.