How do you stop liking someone?

Question

So this is a very weird question because this whole situation is very unlike me and I don't know how to deal with this. Let me summarize it this way... I never have problems with women... somehow it just works... I never get hung up on someone, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work... I move on...

well this time it's really different... maybe its the fact that I'm getting older and re-evaluating my priorities, maybe it's the fact that this girl is really that awesome, but I need help. There is this girl who I really like. We get along great and seems like everything is awesome but it's really not. The problem comes from the fact that I really like her in more than a friend way and she really doesn't. I haven't known her for an incredibly long time (couple of months now) but we've been really close recently. I asked her to dinner, blah blah, you know the drill, she said no... I asked why? if there was something that I did or something wrong with my personality... she said no, that she loves my personality but just wants to be friends. From her tone, body language, knowing her pretty well I can guarantee you that the reason why she doesn't want to be anything more is that I'm not good looking enough for her. I'm sure of that, I'm very good at reading people. Also that's the funny thing, I'm not a bad looking guy but I guess not enough for her. So really there is nothing I can change about myself to "win" her... please don't suggest trying to change something because there really is nothing I can change. We get along amazingly, she just doesn't wanna date me. And that's alright, I'm not hurt. The problem is for some dumb reason I still really like her in more than a friend way and as I mentioned before, she doesn't. So now I gotta figure out how to stop liking her. Any suggestions? I can't outright stop seeing her, we have too many friends in common to cut ties completely and nor do I really want to do it, at the end of the day she's a great friend. So now I'm stuck trying to figure out the "grey zone"... I can't date her and there's nothing I can do to change her mind, and I can't not see her... so... how do I stop liking someone and accept just being friends? This is an awful situation and I've never had to deal with this... help please... thank you!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

That's a horrible situation to be in, I'm sorry to hear that. :(

Well, there is no real way to just stop liking someone. It's much more easily said than done. For a start, are you sure that you WANT to stop liking her? You might know that you should, but some part of you may want to like her, might want to keep looking for something you could change or think that maybe, in time, it could work. If this is the case, you need to convince yourself not to want to like her in any way you can.

Anyway, to try to get over her. For a start, when you see her, immediately pick out her negative points and characteristics. Anything you don't like about her personality, appearance, mannerisms, whatever, focus on it and think of that. Think of something you find really unappealing. When you think of her, bring that to your mind. This doesn't work for everyone, but if you do that religiously for a little while, then your subconscious might start linking her to that and, hopefully, you will start finding yourself less attracted to her. You also need to try to focus on other women. Choose someone else that you would like to like, and think you could. That is the person you should start thinking of instead of her, she is the person whose positive traits you should allow yourself to think of.

No, there isn't an easy way to get over it, and it sucks to be in that awful situation. If you try these ideas, though, it might be easier, and hopefully they will really help you.

Good luck!

? · Answer

first relax, take a deep breath and loosen up. you are boyfriend is mainly no longer valued at getting disenchanted over. why did he get a divorce with you? did he get a divorce with you so he would be with an extra lady, if this is the case then do not be disenchanted over it considering your boyfriend good now ex-boyfriend is a one hundred% douchebag. if he broke up with you considering he received in a battle then its comprehensible to be disenchanted in the beginning, in relationships you are going to have your conflicts and if he broke up with you considering he did not have emotions for you anymore, he's only a waste of time. and due to the fact you had been best relationship for two weeks that did not fairly provide you ample time to grasp every others persona ample but.

atts · Answer

well my suggestion is to change ur friends & actively look around for someone to provide a distraction (marriage, date.... whatever) 
the point is the girl knows u like her & u r her comfort zone, so u should not let her take advantage of u
there r lots of girls out there who would like u for what u r (an upfront kinda guy) not for ur looks or lack of them
good luck

Magnoliahush · Answer

Haha I'm really sorry to break this to you, but when you like someone it's because of the chemicals in your brain (dopamine!) and anyways unless you plan on changing those chemicals... basically, if you really truly like her then you will until she gives you a reason not to.

Anonymous · Answer

you can't really stop liking someone...i know it's hard but you have to do what your heart tells you even though she might not like you back...there's always the possibility that she could come back around though.  good luck!!!

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How do you stop liking someone?

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