Unhappy controlling marriage?

My husband and I have had a really rough few years. Heres a bit of what happened:

he lived in the US for work for several months. When he came home, we moved somewhere really rural for his job. Very isolated- days at a time with nobody to talk to but the kids. Got married.

we got pregnant, and bought a house. After a year, he defaulted on the mortgage (in his name) and we lost the house. Our son was 1 at that time. My husband made over $60k a year and would not tell me where our money had gone. We had to leave our home and move into a mobile home- after 3 weeks of living a hotel. He left the kids and I alone there in an unfamilar town for the first four days- says he was embarrased. Went to counselling, which helped some. He went to individual counselling every week for 4 months (he lied- he only went twice, and told me he went every week for months). Sons school demands we go to family counselling, as husband is VERY harsh with my son (from a different relationship). Son has mentioned to a counsellor my husband screams and throws things a lot. Never hit us, but is very volatile. Husband says he will go- again goes twice then stops going.

got back together. Rented a nice house. He then got laid off his job. Couldn't afford the rental, moved into a trailer. Husband got new job. Moved into new rental in a new, also rural, town. Got evicted after 4 months- husband bounced rent and deposit cheques. Moved into a different rental. 5 months later, husband got fired for misconduct. Several months with no job- and again, "our" savings were missing- he had spent them on sport betting. Several thousand dollars of traffic fines to him for no license (it had been suspended and he hadnt told me). He didn't pay insurance, so our vehicles couldn't be used. Then, they got reposessed due to him not paying the bill. He had told me from day 1 all bills had been paid- everything was in his name as per his demands. I ask him to leave, and he punches holes in walls and freaks out. Gets in our illegal car (just before repo) and drives away- gets involved in police chase, gets sent to jail. I refuse to bail him out, so his mother does and brings him home.

I moved out with the children to a town about 4 hours away. He got a new job overseas and moved there. 3 months later, panicky phone call- he had been fired and was stuck overseas. I used the last $1100 that we had in a joint account to fly him home, as he told me he had several thousand dollars of his pay saved up. Turns out, he had about $400.

Company I worked for went bankrupt- I was out a job. He has been home for 2 months, and done nothing but watch tv. I work as much as I can. Still not enough to cover rent and utilities, let alone food. He claims to be applying for jobs online- I checked his history, and he has applied for two jobs in two months. Found an email from a potential employer- had offered him the job but he had declined. Now we are a month behind in our rent, and unable to pay APRILS rent tomorrow. We are going to be evicted. My bills were never late while he was gone.

I have asked him to leave and he threatened to either take the kids and "disappear" or that he would "make my life hell". I have tried to talk to his family, and they just sigh and say "we knew he had trouble, but theres nothing we can do if hes not willing to work on it."

My friends won't come over when he is here. He is miserable, always yelling at people and putting people down. He says he has a job in another province that he leaves for next week, but is REALLY pressuring me to move with him, with the children. I have said I don't want to, but he keeps making plans for it, talking about houses, kids schools- he even set up appointments at schools to sign up the kids. I keep saying I will think about it happening eventually but I don't want to go. He shrugs and keeps saying we have to. I keep saying he needs to be working, and not be here until he sorts himself out. He completely ignores anything I say- or just says "thats stupid. if I'm such an ******* why dont you leave?" UM- I HAVE left. He followed. He's not violent, really- he never lays a hand on us. He is about a foot taller than me, and likes to stand over me, telling me I dont care about him and I should think about how my actions affect him.

I'm at my wits end. I am PRAYING he is gone next week for the supposed job, but I don't know how to get him to willingly leave if this job doesn't pan out. I don't know how to get him to see how reckless he is. I've never been in a bad relationship- but I have been with him for almost 8 years and don't know what to DO. Help!