i wrote 2 poems which poem is better?

this is my first attempt at slam poetry (:. i am 14. I am looking for constructive criticism and if you do not like it please refrain from being too nasty. i am aware and i do not claim to be a poet. thank you (:. just reading it you might think the first one is better than the second..but w/ all the innuendos and expression i can put in the second one REALLY makes it pop. a lot of my friends are split between the two and i think it would be nice to get an unbiased opinion.

poem 1:

she cradles the blanket in her hands

eyes moist and red rimmed with sorrow

as she haltingly brushes the glass surface

tracing the outline of her ire

she weeps silently to herself, and

stares as her reflection cries with her

she hate

she wishes she had a choice

she wishes she had been,

that one in the million

she wishes she was, her

The rejection ripples currents of pain

through her body, it does not stop

as,

she listens to the kids outside

and hears their yelps of glee, and

she yearns to be one of them

she aches to not care

she stares, then blinks, then turns away

she knows it won’t change, not in a day

she rushes on the metal contraption

keep going, she says,

more

she scrubs her face vigorously

keep going, she says,

more

she lifts the wand to her eyes

keep going,

more

her eyes once a vibrant blue

now covered in soot and lines

her hair once an unconfined sheet

now shellacked in silicone and alcohol

She reluctantly makes her way

back to the place her judgement takes

but the hundreds of dollars she has spent,

through the minutes and hours she went

at perfecting her facade though,

has exhausted her,

will not scrub her imagination

of what she thinks sees.

awful, small, unsatisfactory

she stares, then blinks, then turns away

she says

I am ******* ugly.

she lets out a sigh of discontent

she grabs her fabricated veneer of happiness

then she places a smile across her face

heads out the door at,

a slow pace,

her sorrow just a whisper across her eyes

I know this girl

I see her everyday

Her name is you and I.

second:

Drop the coins,

nod a thanks,

Place bag down,

torso on the seat,

then it starts.

You spot a girl,

rough tattoos

scruffy shoes,

passive look,

“Oh what a wanna-be rebel” you would think,

shaking your heads side to side, disapprovingly.

What you did not know

Is the indigo ink on her hands

marks the pain she felt,

and the love that she lost,

when her parents died

two years ago

With this knowledge,

and a stab of guilt,

you brush it off with,

a “I did not know”

You did not now

So why did you think,

your version of her life story

is anyway accurate,

when what you know

came from a single glance

through your ignorant eyes?

You need to realize,

that you know nothing,

about the person,

right next to you

You don’t know,

what triggers their actions

You haven’t seen,

what they have

You have not been hurt,

the way they have

You have not been betrayed

the way they have

and you are not living

the life they are living

So, there is no reason for you,

to think that you know,

what their worth,

what they want,

who they are

Long acknowledged custom it is,

is that you have a tendency to,

rip apart a stranger’s life and,

place the pieces next to your own,

Compare and contrast,

is a game you would play

your judgmental thoughts

ticking away.

she’s blonde, stupid

sunken eyes, smoker

In rags, failed college

Too much makeup, slut.

People were not born,

with a stereotype stamped,

across their faces.

You can not contain,

multiple decades of life and knowledge,

into less than ten letters

in less than ten seconds

Something and someone,

leads a person,

to the way that they are.

to the choices they make

But, it is just a cruel game to you

for you to feel self righteous,

for you to feel better off.

But you should know

There is never a justification,

for being an unassuming judgmental prick.

So when you walk on that bus

Drop your coins,

nod your thanks,

Place your bag down,

torso on your seat,

your games need to end.

(: