How to help my boyfriend over fear of my dying and leaving him alone again? Could this help other people ?

How can a person get past the fear of being in a relationship that was/is leading to marriage ( he told me that is was and that he's afraid I'll die before him ).

Recently I learned my boyfriend would love to marry me, but fears I will die before him just as his late wife. He told me he just doesn't believe he'd survive losing someone he loves strongly again. His wife was recovering from cancer surgery and died suddenly and unexpectedly after a successful operation and being put in a regular patient room.

My ex had dumped me for another woman he now regrets doing; and I won't take him back ever. Both my boyfriend and I both have had and still have some issues we need to work through. We are both willing to get counseling for this very reason. I don't think we'd be willing if we didn't really love each other. This is a near 3 year relationship; first is was full of grief and tears, then laughter, as we worked on projects around the house; ( nope, we don't live together), and even some adversity from his family over a cheap ring I bought.

He is bipolar, diabetic, and forgets to eat or take medications on time. )This I think comes mainly from losing his wife... the forgetfulness that is. Most people think we are already happily married. It could be the way we ususally act; like holding hands and tossing popcorn at one another when we are watching movies. We are in our early 60's, but still teens at heart.

I think we owe it to each other to at least do all we can to make our relationship become what we each seem to want from it.