I need help with alot please help !?

Question

Im a 13 year old girl and pretty mature for my age ,i just had a really bad break up with my almost this Sunday 15 year old boyfriend . hes the biggest asshole youll ever meet he cheated he talks too other girls he said we should take a break about a month ago because he was grounded and said loved me too much too be able not too see me , so we did ever since then my whole life is like over . i cry all the time . all the time . my friends help alittle i always tell myself im over him butt every time i see or hear about him i say i hate him butt i love him idk why there is nothing too love besides the fact hes gorgeous . butt im in total denial that im over him ahha butt im so not . last night my friend went on my account and liked his rate me thing on facebook he rated me a ten i said oh suprising thanks (: he said why is that suprsing your hot . i said well idk i your my ex i figured by now you hate me he said no i hate you friends (which sort of ruined our relationship its really complicated) and then he messaged me we started talking i said we should be friends and hang out sometime as friends he said he wanted more than i said too him im not willing too do this is the other person isnt willing too be committed and i also said that that people told me that you were over me and not coming back so ya thats what im prepared for and he goes oh ok and i was like oh ok what you got weird on me ? he said ok i said ok what why did you get werid wtf ? and he said ya um i gtg and i said oh ya sure ya do were not friends cool . and he didnt answer .the thing is he hates when i know his business because he said just cause i was with other girls doesnt mean i still dont love you butt in my book thats exactly what it means so i thought the night was going too end good it ended terrible ! plus ever since the break up my life is down hill grades down me and my mom are always fighting butt she just doesnt really understand and she made my move away from my boyfriend thats why we broke up and then today i missed school and she canceled my phoone she took my computer keyboard away butt im using my brothers , my brother is king of this house in the new house i wanted a trampoline thats all i ever wanted and my mom said the owner said we cant have one it will "ruin the grass" butt when he came over he told me yes get whatever you want and i told my mom id even pay for it with my babysitting money butt she said the owner said no so my mom goes the next day and gets my brother a punching bag and this big baseball hitting net thing that goes right on the grass i think if anything that thing will ruin the grass ! my brother never does chores doesnt have a job and hes 17 im 13 and i have a job plus i do soccer butt my mom never wants too take me too practice cause we moved and its far now so i car pool my brother goes too baseball with his own car comes home lays around he doesnt do **** and when he does something wrong hes never punished ! he is totally the king i do all his **** and i always get punished always im even grounded now , my mom doesnt say nice stuff too me alot so when she does say those things i snap i have a short idk what too call it i guess anger problem . she wanted me too come down and hang with the family when all they do is talk about home great my brother is so i never go down stairs anymore and my mom says i treat my family like **** , butt honestly i hate my family . my friends are more loyal my step dad sucks hes weird i hate him . and my parents are obviously divoced everytime im "bad" my mom calls my dad this one time he caught me talking too this boy and he kicked my *** and i was grounded for 2 months the same boy that later on was my boyfriend and broke my heart that one i was just talking about , thing happen crazy butt ya after all ive been through with the kid i dont want it too just end butt hes a major douche so ya it did i feel like the kid does love me butt hes a player and ya he cant help it hes like john tucker ahhah and youll never guess his name lol anyways so ya i havent hung out with the family and stuff and my mom canceled my phone butt i dont know if this time she is gunna call my dad . sometimes i have suicidal thoughts cause there is nothing too live for i hate school cause when i go all i hear about is my ex that i still love and all i see is him talking tooo other girls . it hurts butt yeah i dont tell my friends that they will think that im over dramatic and weird , i just believe there is nothing too live for anymore . and i cant tell my mom why im always sad and mad and mean . because then shes always doesnt really care she says get over it . butt i just at this point hate my life more than ever . i just dont know what too do with myself anymore . its sad i have too talk too strangers and not people i love and know . help ?

Cornelia Anabelle Banana Bo Peep · Accepted Answer

Gosh you wrote a lot o.o
But i understand you a bit. Sometimes talking to strangers feels better for me than telling my friends or family my issues cuz i know they won't help at all. Though i do care for them, i know how they'd react to my issues...and it won't do any good.

My parents are tough and sometimes tough on me too (they're very realistic) and in a way i think it is to make me strong. Your parents seem tougher than mine, surely harsher, and i think you should take their comments as helping you grow to be a strong person.
What i mean is, take everything with a grain of salt. Don't take things too personally. 

I think everything is becoming overwhelming for you. Though your mom might tell you to "get over it", i think she just doesn't know how to help. My mom is like that too. Though she wouldn't tell me those words face-to-face, i know she means it like that. And so, in my situation, i have to get over it.

For you, i think maybe your family doesn't know how to show that they care, but i'm sure they do.
If you really look at the little things, then surely you can see how they care. For instance, my brother is a very anti-social person to me. He doesn't talk to me ever unless he is in a good mood (which isn't very often). But i know he cares for me (despite his avoiding me) because, if i were to do something and he tells me to stop, then i realize he's trying to stop me from possibly doing something wrong, or possibly hurting myself as a consequence of something i was doing wrong.

Anyway, with the guy issue, though it is hard, you best try not to think too much of him. You said so yourself that all he is, is hot. Otherwise, he's a jerk and a player. He's not the only guy in the world and you sure as heck deserve better. 
I think, because you don't get what you want from your family, you try to get it from this guy you can't help but fall for. Try not to get into his trap. He is definition of problems/drama if you continue to allow yourself to be taken in by him.
Get your mind on other things. Try finding a hobby, or look forward to becoming successful in the future.

Though you are 13, you can still think about what you want to become when you're older. Don't think suicidal thoughts cuz of course it's not good. But rather think positively. Try and be optimistic. Though it takes practice, i know you can think positively since i myself have made it a habit to try and see the good instead of the bad.
Think about how you can prove everyone wrong by being successful in the future, in school, and as an overall person. I challenge you to be optimistic :]

And hey, you have your friends to live for right? Though you might not think it, there would no doubt be SOMEONE that'll miss you. (If you'd allow me to say it) I would ^-^

Peter · Answer

Hey you. Always take life from a positive angle. OK you lost this guy. He wasn't much to write home about, was he? Thus you didn't really lose much, did you? In fact, losing part of your family is more serious than losing a guy, right? My advice is that you concentrate on school and making a life for yourself whenever you are through school and college. Make sure you hold your head high; take the high road. Whenever you see this guy, that you still may love but will quickly forget, just walk past him, looking up and smiling at everyone else. Say high to others right close to him wearing a big smile. Ooze confidence. Sooner or later he will come towards you. The when he does, tell him to buzz off. Once you feel good about yourself, others around you will feel good about themselves and everything else will fall into place.

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I need help with alot please help !?

2 Answers