My teenager wont listen to me?

Wow, and shes only 13?

Maybe, Try some scare tactics. Kids is a good movie that will teach her that she can get STD's from sex. I must warn you that it could be quite disturbing to you to see Kids doing drugs and "misbehaving" on tv. That scared me and my sister away from sex and boys for a while.

Make sure you warn her that once she catches and STD or gets pregnant, there really is no going back. She will have to live with the consequences of the decisions she is making. Where im standing her future does not look too good for her. Im seeing alot of health problems and trouble, period.

When kids dont think about their future, they dont think about the present. When i was 15 my life started getting rough, so i started drinking. Bad move. I started getting health warnings, like a pain in my stomach, so i looked up alcohol and read about all of its dangers. I was scared after that, so i stopped drinking. I felt i had too much to live for, rather than kill my liver.

Give her something to live for. Ask her how she wants to make a living. Try to help her realize her talents. If she hasnt thought of a career, try to talk about it together and come up with something. Get her to realize its a big world out there. If she had enough motivation she could pack up and take a trip to Hawaii if she wanted to. But if she continues drugs and sex at 13, that slims down the possibilities.

All it takes is a good talk about her future, that'll get her living responsibily in the present. I hope everything goes well for you and your sister.

Good for you for taking on such a challenge at such a young age. YOu might want to consider taking a parenting class. Call 211 (a state number) and ask them if there is such a class near you.

Learn behavior modification, rather than nagging. Praise her and reward her when she does good and give her consequences when she does something she shouldn't. Don't be afraid to stand up to her and deny her privileges if she does things she shouldn't. No TV, cell, computer, don't drive her to things she wants to do, don't play ATM.

Make her earn an allowance. She has to do chores and if she comes smelling of smoke, etc., she loses her money.

Take her to Planned Parenthood for counseling about sexual activity, the risks, pregnancy, STDs, etc. There are forms of birth control that can last for three months or for years. But she also needs to know why she should use a condom every time. They are probably better equipped than you in dealing with this.

Enroll her in after school programs or arrange for some kind of supervision for her.

You need to be strong now because she is headed for big trouble.

Family counseling is also needed.

In part, she is challenging you to see if you care enough to say no.

Don't do boot camp. They are abusive and make the problem worse. THey teach bad behavior (if you are bigger, you can be a jerk is what they teach.)

Firstly I think you are fantastic to b doing this for your sister. Most people would just say not my problem and walk away. I admire you for that. I think what you need to do is make her look after a baby for a day. Get either one of those dolls or maybe a friend or a relative might give you theirs for a day. Don't agree to help her. Tell her she can't go out because she has to look after the baby. Within a few hours hopefully she'll b so stressed and freaked out about all the responsibilty that she'll get her act together , take the pill or stop having sex. Get a doctor to talk to her as well.

As for the sneaking out , get a babysitter. Maybe even a friend if you can't afford one. Tell her that until she can prove to you that she can come straight home from school and stay their , that the babysitter will keep coming. If she sneaks out or comes back late or behaves badly in any way , confiscate things like her phone , her laptop etc. That way she'll realize that if she wants her stuff back , she'll have to give you some respect.

Keep talking to her about the dangers of her having sex so young. You could even get her to watch a DVD of the dangers of teen sex. Keep pestering her until it eventually sinks in.

Once again , I think you are amazing for doing this. I know it's hard , and your very young but hang in their because you really are doing a wonderfully thing for your sister and your all she has.

personally i think you bit off more than you can chew....its good that you care about your sister but there was alot of problems before she came to be in your custody..

you are her sister and therefore would never look at you as a "parent"..

the issues that you guys have are not gonna go away anytime in the near future, you need to get counseling for the both of you and have a professional guide you in raising your sister..

you are both young and you have a huge responsibility now, you cannot do this on your own..

talk to someone that can help both you and your sister go through these issues and help to make you guys both healthy and happy..

good luck

be strict and stick to it! if you enforce a rule and she doesn't abide punish her, after she learns to listen and do as she is told you can also start to do fun things, its going to be hard not that im compairing her to a dog but its harder to train an older dog - also she will rebel as she see's you as a sister and hasn't had the strict mother figure in her life so will struggle and she will probably be mean and nasty to you in the start

You should spend time with her , i think she feels left out so she does this to her self , you should have time for her , And Do not show her you week , from i can see she knows you kinda week you cant do nothing , so try to be strickt and Strong and show her your love and trust me with this all she will listen to you =]

Tough love. Stick her little butt in a boot camp. That should fix the problems.

if she doesnt want to listen to you try juvey hall or put her butt in boot camp that is the only thing left to do sweetie