How do I get my 4 month old to fall asleep on his own?

Question

So my son just turned 4 months old yesterday, and he does not sleep well at all. He is exclusively breastfed, and the only way I can get him to fall asleep is to swaddle him tightly and nurse him laying down in bed until he falls asleep then I have to gently put him in his crib without waking him up, if he wakes up in the night I have to do the same thing to get him back to sleep, even though I'm sure he isn't hungry. I try to do all the same things and gently wake him up before laying him down in his crib, but he just cries and cries until I pick him up and either rock him in the rocking chair or nurse him again (even though I'm sure he isn't hungry). My mother says I should just let him cry but I've read that its not good to do that until they're about 7 months, and I really don't think I could stand to do it right now. I've read that for a baby to be able to soothe himself back to sleep in the night its important for him to fall asleep in the same place he will wake up. I really need some advice on this, because I can't keep waking up 3 or 4 times a night with him, he is not a newborn anymore.

Update:

Of course I'm still a parent in the middle of the night, what a judge mental thing to say. I am not an incompetent parent, it is normal for a mother to want to find ways to help her child sleep through the night.

Penelope · Accepted Answer

Do yourself a favor and go get the book babywise. Some mom's on here will disagree but my son has been sleeping from 7pm-7am, plus naps, since he was 3 months old and is now 20 months and still sleeps 7-7 plus a 2 hr nap. Its a great book that gives you tools on how to help your little one sleep through the night. It's a great guide and you can take what you like from it. It will help you set up a routine for him. Being a new parent is hard and you need advice from people who have done it before :) he needs his rest, and don't believe people who say that thats just how babies are. It doesn't have to be like that. Again, BabyWise, you will be a happy mommy and he will be a very happy baby. The four mom's before me will NOT agree with me. But that's ok. This is a solution for you, not them. All my mommy friends and family agree with me and they followed the book and got the same results as well.  Hope this helps.

4Red · Answer

These nights will soon be a thing of the past. He'll be big and grown before you know and you will miss all those precious moments spent snuggling with your infant.

It is a totally normal thing for him to still be waking that many times a night. Babies nurse not just because they are hungry but for comfort and it is perfectly fine to nurse for just that reason. 

There is no reason a baby should ever have to cry themselves to sleep. Would you want to go to bed at night crying and have no one comfort you? Bedtime should be a peaceful time not a crying stressed out time...not for anyone at any age!

crunchy mama · Answer

I agree with all the other answers.  And, of course you can continue to wake up with him 3 or 4 times.  You can and you will, because that is what he NEEDS and that is what we do for our babies.

I have four children and none of them slept through the night before the age of 2 or 3.  It is normal and natural for babies to wake up at night, hungry or not.  Wouldn't you rather nurse him for a few minutes each time than deal with painful nights of crying and stress?

And while it may be normal for a mother to want to find ways to help her child sleep through the night, babies are simply not designed to sleep through the night.

danner · Answer

Most sleep running shoes will say to not use their ways till 6 months historic. Many youngsters have got to be parented to sleep. Parenting is a problem when you have one more schedule, however now this little one is your quantity one precedence. RIght now he demands exact matters to go to sleep- being swaddled and sucking to sleep are the approaches he demands to go to sleep. He will develop out of the ones matters. It could be satisfactory if he would simply fall asleep with out being rocked and swaddled and a pacifier, however that's now not fact. Some youngsters have got to be helped to sleep till two or three. It's now not spoiling, it is not instructing them unhealthy sleep conduct, it is attachment parenting. If you wish to allow your little one cry it out and go to sleep that means, then you definately need to forget about the little one till it occurs.

daa · Answer

Why are you expecting a four-month-old to be capable of falling asleep without help? Why are you supposing he isn't hungry or doesn't need comfort during the night? Continue to nurse him to sleep, and continue to nurse him back to sleep when he wakes. This is normal and expected. Waking 3 or 4 times a night to nurse is normal and expected behavior too. He won't be a baby forever.

Some reading for you -

http://kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/comfortnursing...

http://kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html

http://kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/4mo-sleep.html

Some reading for you -

http://kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/comfortnursing.html
http://kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html
http://kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/4mo-sleep.html

Diet C · Answer

Just because it's the middle of the night doesn't mean you're not a parent.
There's absolutely nothing abnormal with what's going on. 

Go to bed earlier and stop dreading him waking. As soon a s you just embrace it as part of being mom and try to enjoy the extra cuddles it won't be so hard or tiring.

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How do I get my 4 month old to fall asleep on his own?

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