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Lv 5
? asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

Why is it everytime I'm ready to divorce, I get a change of heart?

Me and my husband has a good "friend" relationship. We do everything together play video games, smoke and drink, go to the clubs together, we like to shop but we can't have a civil conversation. We both are argumentative when it comes to proving points, he feels as if I have nothing intelligent to say, that all I care about is my appearance (which is totally not true). He gets mad he breaks things, if I keep speaking after him telling me to shut up (in other words) then he will forcely push me against wall or on the bed or he will grab me by the throat not technically squeezing but restraining firmly. He will verbally abuse me and he gets mad when I tell him how he makes me feel or that I feel as if mentally/emotionally we are not connected.

The thing is I will want a divorce out of the moment but after a while (especially if I smoke weed) I get to reflective thinking and then I don't feel as mad and would think a divorce is too dramatic. Is it just me or does everyone after a few hours after an argument start to think that maybe it wasn't really that bad?

8 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Adaptation is what the mind does when it has no other choice.

    You have adapted to this lifestyle of abuse, and you must first change your mind before you can change your environment. Its hard to do, but little by little tell yourself you deserve better, that it isnt okay to be treated this way. Envision and life without him and the drama and you will eventually get to a point where it no longer seems normal to be there.

  • J J
    1 decade ago

    Its not easy to get a divorce and I see why the odd joint may be appealing so that you don't have to deal with it. Its the perfect escapism and you said yourself it makes the reality nice and fuzzy and less serious. The fact that he has pushed you against a wall and grab you by the throat is unequivocal abuse and controlling behaviour. I think you should leave but it has to come from you.

    Source(s): life experience
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You should never let any decision you make while on drugs affect your life. If smoking weed causes you to think that maybe someone who pushes you around, says mean things to you, and doesn't give a crap about your opinion is a good catch- maybe you should reconsider the bong and find a good attorney.

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Put down the blunt and go see a lawyer, your blurring your feelings & memories because you know when you sober the reality of what just went down is wrong and not the sort of marriage you wanted for yourself. Stay sober, go to a lawyer and start living a better life.

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  • ?
    1 decade ago

    Any type of physical violence is not acceptable. It sounds like your husband has anger issues. You should ask him to get help right away or leave him. These things may seem like nothing to you, because it happens so often. Trust me they are huge warning signs

  • l8tr g8tr
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Put down the bong and spend your money on therapy...better to divorce now than wait until he lands you in the hospital...

  • No More Abuse
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Domestic violence is a serious crime..get therapy..divorce..why stay in the abuse?

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I guess it depends how willing you are to be verbally abused and physically threatened.

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