How did you get the support to Divorce, dispite....?

Family/social pressure, guilt trips, indecisiveness as the incident is further and further and then doesn't seem as bad. Confused, my husband I feel like, likes to Control me, speaks to me like a parent-child relationship, intimacy and affection has went to slim to none. He has put his hands on me about 4 times in the 3 years we been together nothing serious just a shove against wall or slightly restraining me by the neck. I can feel my confidence lowering he gets mad if I tell him anything about himself that I feel offends me, especially with the racial slurs (he has calmed down a bit on that). I just really get to thinking how his family will be disappointed and how I don't really want to move home, how I want to make it work for our 19 month old daughter. (sigh) Is this normal, the way I'm feeling? Indecisive on going through with this or not.