What do I do if my mom wants me to be jealous of her?

My mom has always had very low self esteem. And she's always taking it out on me. If she doesn't like the way she looks, she will try to make herself feel better by telling me that I'm too fat..."don't you want to get married? you'll never find a husband if you look like that?" and a couple of months ago I confronted my father about him molesting me when I was 11. She immediately said that I was jealous of her and my dad's relationship and I was trying to break them up. I don't really see the connection between him molesting me and jealousy but she has latched on to that ever since I told him. They tried to deny it at first but eventually my dad admitted it because of his personality proves it. He has always been controlling and overbearing and touchy feely to the point where other relatives have taken notice. I still love my dad despite what he did because I simply just don't have the energy within me to feel hate towards him. But my mom has turned it to a soap opera. She said that I "dishonored" him and I'm "trying to ruin his reputation" and make him "lose his job." If I try to have a conversation with my dad she will always loudly and deliberately interrupt me to talk to him. If we're all out to dinner or in public and I say something to my dad, she will immediately grab his hand or lean her head against his shoulder. It's like she's so mentally damaged that she can't realize that I'm her daughter and all I want from them is to BE MY PARENTS. The thing about it is that if my dad gets mad at me and starts yelling at me...she'll calm him down and say "It's okay baby you're a wonderful father and a wonderful husband." He has cheated on her so many times and she has never said a word about it. Yet, if I get into a problem with him, my mom treats me the way she's SUPPOSED to treat the women that my dad has affairs with.

But anyways, despite everything I love my parents because I honestly don't have any other choice. I have battled depression and low self esteem and I used to feel hatred and anger towards them for not being emotionally there for me. but I take heart in knowing that I still can change my life and who I am. But they won't, and they don't know how to. But like I said, I love them only because I have to. They're the only ones I have.

But I'm confused. My parents are leaving for Barcelona, Spain in a couple of days for their 30th anniversary. My mom told a lot of people in our family that they are going to renew their wedding vows but told them not to tell me because she said I would be jealous. That's not me!!!!!! I'm not that type of person and I want them to have a great trip and enjoy themselves but it's like both of my parents want me to be jealous of them! If I ask them about the different places they will visit in Barcelona, they get very vague and distant. But if my mom is on the phone at home and I'm there, she will loudly tell her friends how excited she is to explore Spain. I want to share in her joy. I really want to feel that excitement for her because I know that her pettiness is because of a tough childhood. But she won't allow me to be that person. If you ask any of my friends, they will tell you that I'm a loving and caring person. I analyze a lot and I'm the type of person who wants to live a life of honesty and integrity. And that's where the problems with me and my mom start because she and my dad live in denial about everything wrong within themselves and I'm the complete opposite.

I'm just looking for some honest feedback about all this. Is there anything I can really do or should I just accept it? Should I get them a gift? I want to be a good person but when I'm around my parents, I feel like dirt. ALWAYS.