Know any jokes with obscure/confusing punch lines (10+1 points for best answer)?

Siamese twins attached on the hip were in their

favorite bar discussing their plans for an English

vacation. The bartender asked why they always

go to England for vacation? The twin on the right

said, It's because it's the only chance I get to drive.

I'm as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full

of rocking chairs.

Sometimes I feel like a one legged man in an A$$

kicking contest.

Here are some---

1.) Whenever you think that you are arguing with a fool, you must make sure that he is not doing the same.

2.) Sometimes it is better to keep mum and let people wonder if you are a fool than opening your mouth and clearing their doubts.

3.) Adversity does the work of eliciting talents which in prosperity would have rather lain dormain.

4.)At last, it is the ATTITUDE not APTITUDE which will later determine your ALTITUDE.

5.) People who fight fire with fire usually end up in ashes.

6.) After all life is round. What may seem like the end may also be the beginning.

7.)Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until good is better, and better is best.

8.)There is no 'I' in the word 'TEAMWORK'

9.) No opportunity is lost. It is just picked up by someone else.

10.) Opportunity may knock once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.

11.) Dictionary is the only place where success comes before hard work. Hard work is the price we must pay for success.

12.)The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing

A priest, a rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

Before he became a scientist, Heisenburg was an unsuccessful sign painter. He lost all his mall clients because he kept making mall maps that said "I have no idea where you are."

If you can get your car going the speed of light and then turned the headlights on, would they do anything?

There are 10 kinds of people: those who understand binary and those who don't.

A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth.

Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One said to the other do you smell fish?

Obscure Jokes

Once, I had a fear of hurdles.

But then I got over it.

I mustache you a question,

but I'm shaving it for later.

two cats have a race

1 is called one two three

and the outher is called un duix trois

who wins

anwser; english one because un duix twa cat sank