My husband would rather be in his game room getting high and playing video games then spending time with me?

Question

we've been married almost a year and we are always arguing over the same issue. He wants SO much alone time, i respect that he wants alone time but the fact that he wants so much of it is really upsetting to me. We fight about it, i tell him how i feel and he makes more of an effort to spend time with me but he only does it because i make such a big deal about it. If i never said anything about it, if it were up to him one day a week for a couple of hours IF that would be fine with him. We don't even sleep in the same bed together anymore, when i'm awake hes sleeping or at work. We have a 4 month old baby and he helps out with the baby which i appericate but how can our marriage survive if he would rather be alone doing what he wants getting high and playing video games instead of spending time with me and our son? why should i have to fight with him to get any time, he should WANT to spend time with me! "I dont know what to do, i feel extermly unhappy and neglected, unwanted I dont know if i can go on like this for the rest of my life. I feel like a broken record and nothing ever changes.

. · Accepted Answer

Sounds like a marriage that never should've happened...he doesn't want to be married, he wants to be back in high school...

Consider couples counseling or divorce, if you want your situation to improve...

Brian · Answer

It sounds like he needs to stop getting high - that is most likely the main issue here. It wouldn't hurt for the two of you to seek marriage counselling as well. Was he this inattentive before you were married? Has his drug use increased? If yes, it sounds ike he has some unresolved past issues.

Definitely try to get some counselling even if he won't go with you. You need someone professional to talk to. He needs to know just how this is affecting you and the only way may be through counselling if, as you say he isn't changing after you talk.

I know the marriage is important to you but you must look out for the best interests of you and your child. Don't be ignored or belittled. 

B

Hailey · Answer

Do you work? The reason I ask is: If you're on Mat leave, or not working for any other reason... He spends 8+ hours a day for other people, for money. When he gets home, he needs to unwind. Yes he should want to spend time with you- but if his job is stressful or he's unhappy, he's seeking a "calm down" period.

Anonymous · Answer

You need to move on  you not happy thats not a good thing leave him but do it when hes not there to be on the safe side one year is enough you dont wanted that for a life time  you will be happy again and if hes geting high you need to go .

Anonymous · Answer

You can't force him to want to be with you and your son. Ask him what he wants, ask him if he wants to work on your marriage and your family. One person can not fix a relationship no matter how much they want it to work out. If he isn't willing to work on it with you then it will not work!
Fighting and nagging him isn't going to make him want to spend time with you so just stop that and try another approach..try talking and possibly counseling.

Pearl · Answer

You married someone with a drug problem?

Sorry, but you should realise that addiction IS more important to the addict than everything else in their lives.

Stop fighting, issue an ultimatum, either he gets clean or you file for divorce.

? · Answer

That's just wrong . Tell him ya feel about that

Anonymous · Answer

You got what you settled for. Enjoy!

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My husband would rather be in his game room getting high and playing video games then spending time with me?

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