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how to cope living with your ex?
Hey,
I dont expect there to be an easy answer to this .. I would just perhaps like some advice on a good way to live with ones ex partner.
me and my ex have a daughter- 2 years 6 months, she is severely disabled.. so hard work at times! but so adorable! We both love her to bits..
We have not been together for a year now and we have lived together all that time.. we went through a phase where he was harassing my male friends :( trying to guilt trip them into not talking to me.. saying such things like " we have a disabled child youre tearing this family apart" .. he thought I was going to get back with him.. But I wont.. he realises that now -I THINK-
I feel like I cant ask him to leave because his family are very controlling, and when they found out we weren't together they were saying they were going to take him to pakistan (he is half pakistani half english) to find a wife.. they told him to forget about me- AND OUR DAUGHTER! He asked me to pretend we are together just to his family because he does not want to be pressured into that.. which is fair! But.. now I really am starting to get tired of this arrangement..
he cant afford to move into an apartment.. :( and to be honest I feel so embarrassed to ask for help.. from professionals.. because I dont want them to look at me and think I am a bad mom for not staying with my ex.. even for my daughters sake :(
I have tried.. but we are so different.
I would like to be able to go out and maybe find a boyfriend, but I fear what he would be like!
I want him to go out and find a girlfriend.. but he would rather stay at home on the playstation!
we do argue about alot of things but maturely resolve it..
Even so, At the moment I feel so confused and trapped to be quite honest. I dont know how to go about things.. and would just appreciate some advice..
Please dont say " just kick him out " its not that easy! I mean advice like.. "let him make his own meals" or something! sorry if this question is confusing! And i appreciate any help!
ty.
Arw, I am really appreciating all you guys are saying thank you!
gives me a little more confidence!
4 Answers
- RockyLv 610 years agoFavorite Answer
I know a few mothers that have no support from their babies daddy's who live in studio apartments so why not live like your in a studio and tell him the LR is our home and the bedroom is yours if you eat in the house cook and clean up as you would if you lived along, no cleaner than if you live alone. Till you move I'm renting you the room, you are to keep it clean and the rest of the house, you will talk total care of our child (give him a schedule of times when he can relive you because you need a break)
That way you can get out and down time. Get a life, meet any potential men out, and keep your business your own. After all you do want to date men that have their own place so why go to yours? Maybe you will move out with someone else.
Get a divorce and child support, once you feel its right for you
- ?Lv 710 years ago
You ask for ideas then cut off the only ideas for one reason or another. He's too gutless to withstand the pressure from his family - that fits perfectly with his staying home and messing with play station. It also speaks to why you finally got feed up with him - regardless of what was the final straw.
Marital problems are too common for professionals to look down on you for wanting to leave your husband - and if you don't your current situation is never going to end because he damned sure isn't going to leave - why should he.
Get professional help and kick him out - if he's not man enough to take care of himself - so be it.
Good luck to you and your child.
- 10 years ago
I would sy living with him is just making things worse for you and your daughter. He really does sound like a jerk from wha I say. Move out and make sure you get allimony from him let the lawyers loose on him. If he can't do even that then forget him and his freaky family and find yourself someone who cares for you.
- 10 years ago
parting would be easier for you both and for you and the little girl,but still let him do his bit for the little one as this will give you the well earn rest.but if he stays make him do more for himself and around the home.
