I need help concerning friends and myself?

hello young lady :)

the first thing I want to say is you are a well respected and well liked YA user on here, we that know you (as much as we can on here at least) accept you and enjoy communicating with you. you are amongst fellow YA users (the ones that are non-trolls I mean) a lot of us users on here are loners. welcome to cyber loner land. that's what is so nice about YA when you do get in the mood to come out of your shell and communicate a little this place is really convenient. then when your ready to back doing your own thing, or sick of hearing people bullshit and them talking about "me, me, me, I, I, I," there's no uncomfortable goodbyes or arguments you can just say "Fu*k this sh*t" and close the screen down on your computer and go do your sh*t. that's what I really like about this place. when you had enough there are no uncomfortable exits you just shut the sh*t down and go do your thing.

I am a loner too, I have always been a loner. but I found when being a loner it's really beneficial to believe in something. if your both a loner and have nothing to believe in you may find yourself in a state of hopelessness a lot of times, and we as human beings, well those with any value to them the ones that have a heart or a healthy conscious (for those that don't like the metaphor of "heart or soul") need some hope in our lives. most loners know themselves better than any one else, well I would hope so because if you are both lost and a loner you are in some serious sh^t, believe me I have been there and it's nothing nice. so I would hope that you know yourself pretty well, you know all about your good qualities and if you don't you need to do some introspecting as I have told you before and find those qualities. then you believe in YOURSELF!

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(for those with good state of consciousness and good hearts) We must believe in our human potential, our lives have the true meaning and value of NOW, our only HOPE today lies in our ability to life ourselves from THIS EVER RISING HELL! and when I say "ever rising hell" I am referring to this deterioration in humanity right now, all the external conflict, everybody out for themselves. I have entered my late 30s and sh*t has changed so much since I was your age, it's harder to meet people and make friends given there are just so many selfish douche bags out there now, people don't care about others and the good things they do like back in the day, there seems to be more debate and disagreement in things. I mean go spend 5 minutes in the R&S section (as I know you have) hardly EVER can anyone respect each others belief systems and spirituality, it's all about their arrogance that they are right and you are wrong.

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well this may be YA and online but it's real life on here too and what goes on in R&S is just fu*king @ss disturbing! let's suppose Darwin was right and lets spouse evolution is true REGARDLESS of how the hell we got here. okay? as we are advancing in evolutionary technology, science and discoveries in science, medicine, we are also destroying our planet simultaneously with all the waste after our advancements. humans are always going to be humans, there will always be war, conflict and disagreements. if there is anything good that I can say about myself is I have a high level of awareness that has developed nicely through my choices in spirituality and what I see is somewhat a deterioration in our evolutionary process as people and humanity, human rights and giving a fu*k about your fellow man, there is a complete lack of human compassion these days most people treat you like you are in their way. spend some time in R&S and Politics and tell me I am wrong.

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Yes this has been going on for decades but I honestly see it progressively getting worse so let me tell you something sweet heart there isn't anything wrong with saying fu*k this I am stepping away from this and being by myself and finding my own way, there isn't nothing wrong with being a loner. I am a partial Buddhist and Siddhartha Gautama (Buddha the enlightened one) in many many ways did the same exact thing. it just so happens he found something really profound in philosophical views about humanity and discovered a way to be happier within it, he found soundness and truth in his views and later so did thousands and thousands of others. as I was going through college I had a massive psychological phobia about death and dying, so intense I almost didn't make it through school it consumed me so much it caused morbid fixations with regard of the fear of absolute nothingness and a complete annihilation of consciousness after death. the myths of hell, demons, eternal fire and brimstone none of that sh*t ever got to me none of that scared me, but nothing frightened me more than the complete annihilation of consciousness after death.

Hey Icecream :)

I can kind of relate to your situation, I've always been a bit of a loner myself. Comfortable in my own company I guess you could say.

I just need to remark that I really do think what your principle said about being a 'greater person' is both snobby and hilarious! I can't believe someone would have the audacity to say that haha. I've never been to private school though!

I understand totally that you'd rather hang out by yourself and watch movies. It's so very appealing isn't it. But to be honest, I think it would do you good to go and hang out with these girls, if only for a few times. I know through experience that everyone needs friendship and everyone needs to 'let go' and have a bit of a laugh. Can you not do that with these girls? Can you not speak to them about how they've made you feel making your opinions seem invalid? Everyone likes a good debate usually, can't you have some fun with your different opinions? Honestly, I'm not trying to sound like your councillor because I know how annoying it is, but what harm can it do to go and get some fresh air and hang out with some teens for a while? You never know what is around the corner or what opportunities are going to come your way and if you just sit at home watching movies you could miss some great times and experiences. And it's kind of worrying that you don't see the point in anything. I know watching movies is great fun but there are lots of amazing things you can get out of life. And as annoying as the councillor no doubt is, perhaps they really do have your best interests at heart and you should take some of the advice?

Good luck Icecream :)

Hey,

just letting you know that I would probably rather stay home and watch movies too.

I wouldn't call myself a loner because I guess I could be considered social, but I sometimes feel like it's forced, you know? And that really sucks. I hate being around people I don't like, but I have to tolerate them all the time. Usually, I just have much more fun on my own. I think it's just best to find one or two close friends, and just screw all the other fakies out there.

And for you, it could just be the crappy demographic you're around... I mean an all-girls school? I've heard nightmares about those places.

Considering that you're out in a few years(1/2?), just battle it out in that hellhole and then go out and do whatever the hell you want. As for the summer... you should give it a small try, but know that if it doesn't work out, watching movies and going on Y!A is funner anyway.

Hope this helped in the slightest way

Hey there Suic,

I'm not quite sure of what to tell you here to be perfectly honest. I'm not really in a place in my life right now where I can confidently give you advice on what to change about your life. Nor can I honestly say that there IS something wrong with how you are living your life. The best thing I can do is relate to the stuff you are going through and share my own perspective. I can be somewhat of a loner myself at times and socially awkward. Especially during situations outside of my comfort zone. I can also be extremely neurotic and would honestly prefer not to interact with strangers because of the unfavorable outcomes that might result in doing so. I am also a homebody and prefer to do things on my own indoors that I enjoy such as music and reading. However, with that said I also value the importance of experiencing "things" in life. Especially ones that I have not experienced yet or even thought about doing. I feel that is the only way that I can advance in my life, personally. So, if I can give one piece of advice, it is to not be afraid or apprehensive of trying new things in life such as hanging out with your friends for the first time in the holidays or what have you. You never know how things will turn out.

One thing I know for sure is that you are an extremely intelligent young lady with your own perspective on life and strong opinions. I also love the fact that you can articulate yourself very well when expressing such opinions. =) That is one of many reasons why you are one of my favorite contacts ever. if not my favorite ;)

Keep doing your thing and expanding your horizons. I know I need to. XD

Hello ma'am! I don't know what you're really asking for...so I'll just tell you my opinion on all of this.

First of all, in case you were wondering; there are plenty of people feeling this way. I know this because I feel this way myself. and I find comfort in believing that people are like us in one way or another.

I know what you mean about the exercise thing. I do exercise but I'm still considered the "lazy" one in my family because I don't go out with friends. My sister exercises as well but she's always out of the house. It may sound dumb, but I fee like my parents favour my sister, it's ridiculous. I don't know if you feel that too. Anyway, often parents will compare their children. They don't realize this but it can hurt our feelings sometimes.

As for the movies, that's something that you love. Let people know that's it's really not that weird to have a passion for something. I've seen the questions you ask about movies here...you've got talent in that. And I thought I was smart in that area! lol.

So the point is, get good at what you love. Practice it because I promise, there's a point. There's always a point in what you love! Think about it this way, you could be a movie critic or a screenwriter or a filmmaker. Ya know?

You know a lot about music too! There's another thing you're good at!

Oh and about your friends, you don't HAVE to have friends. It's not a mandatory thing in life. Sure you'll have acquaintances and all, but having like a "group" of friends, that doesn't matter. Being alone is good too. That's where all my ideas come from, is being alone. I too enjoy being alone sometimes because I don't necessarily feel lonely.

Good luck darling!

I can totally understand where your coming from. I'm 16 and I find being alone is sometimes way better. And yeah my parents think I'm weird cause i don't hang out with friends and that I spend my time in my room reading or watching tv. But you know lately I guess i can see where all these grown ups are coming from. I guess they don't want us to waste our lives or something. That we should be living it to the fullest. I guess we just all need to find our inspiration. But i don't think your weird. I just think you need some new friends.

But also you do need to get out a little. Even if its doing a run around the neigborhood or hanging out with someone you know. Spending too much time alone can make you depressed because you're in your comfort zone, and when you have to talk to people in the future you're not going to know what to do because you haven't had the proper experience.

Anyway i hope this helped. From one teen to another (:

Ah, another loner. You are welcome in our circle of broken misfits.

I would not let them get to you. In my experience, people like that are nothing but bad news who would most likely betray you and stab you in the back the minute it benefits them. Your councilor is obviously one of those amateur psychologists who think human interaction is something beneficial. Humans are disgusting and duplicitous things and should be left well alone.

Of course, when I say "humans," I mean that stinking unwashed horde of strangers you don't know. It's perfectly fine to spend time with family and friends (that have proven their worth and trustworthiness).

But enough of my deranged babbling. The point of all of that is just to say this.

Live your life the way you want it. Raise your fists to the naysayers and don't let their words get under your skin.

On a side note, your principal sounds like a major douche that needs taken down a few pegs.

Keep doing what you are doing. There is nothing wrong with it. I do the same thing, its summertime and ive only been outside 5 times. the rest of the time iv been playinv my ps3 or watching movies and listening to old songs. I think that you are a more logical thinker but you shouldnt care about what otger people think about you because people will say anything to make you feel bad and once they see its working they will continue doing it. as for the counsilers id say tell them you are gonna do what you want to do. As long as you are happy with what u do nobody can tell u otherwise. And your principle is likely narcisistic.

You have to understand something, you have to communicate with people, talk to them. I'm not saying you have to be best friends with them, but still you have to hangout with them. Because later on in life you will be so used to staying alone and being a loner that it will cause you serious problems. In your job, career, your family...just about everything. You have to develope your communications skills. Life isn't so easy...someday you'll need help, and you wouldn't know who to approach. Or you will have ten people attending your funeral. You don't want that happening right?

Keep friendship with everyone, trust me your friends influence you more than ever, you learn important things from them, that you wouldn't have know otherwise.

Sounds like everyone seems to put you off as an outcast or a 'non-fit to society', you're not the only one, just to be clear. People don't view you as very social, and you're not, sadly, unless you do something about it, that's all that people will view you as. Stop seeing your councillor if you feel he/she is just making it worse. Find someone with the same problems as you, befriend him/her and stop being with people who just make you feel uncomfortable. And I have a question for you, is your brother younger than you or older?

Your Principal is a snotty twit, to hell with her. Your friends aren't really your friends, You ought to make a real friend sometime, you'll see the big difference. If they were really your friends they'd value your opinions and ideas. Now on to your director of student welfare. Sounds like a overly politically-correct wacker to me.

As for spending time with those so called friends, don't, do what you enjoy, it's your life, no one else.