Fear of sex? Please help?

This sounds like me and my bf relationship. I was afraid to have sex. I was abused by a family member but that wasn't my case. She might have a mind like mine. She probably believes that if she gives her soul to you she will become attached and then something bad might happen and you two will break up You must remember that almost ever girl is afraid their first time.

Many girls think of how they will defy their parents orders and don't want to do it thanks to their parents. If she is a christian girl, she probably thinks about God ( may not be the case with the things you stated). Some girls are honestly afraid to lose that one special thing.....their virginity.

So here's what you do::

The next time you lay next to her naked, hold her close. Talk softly to her and tell her how much you care and that you'll wait until she's ready. Tell her you won't force her to do anything she doesn't want. Remind her about how much you love her. In time her heart will grow fonder and closer to yours. Let her know you respect her decision. In time she will have sex with you as long as you are patient with her.

Please go to therapy. Your anxiety is something you can get over if you try. You owe it to yourself. And if you are engaged to be married it's not okay to be dishonest with your fiance--You two should have trust and openness between you. If you are nervous about something, you deserve to be able to talk to someone about it. No one is going to think less of you for having fears, even if they are irrational. And yes! Yes! The only way to know if you have HIV or not is to get tested for it. You can do it, I believe in you. If you have childhood trauma that you can't remember all the details of, then you probably know how to disassociate. Sometimes I still do this on purpose to get out of anxiety. When you're walking into the doctor's office, sitting down, getting ready for the test.. Don't think about what you're doing. Be elsewhere. Pay attention to the motions you are going through but don't think about why you're doing them. It will be over quickly and then you'll know for sure. You could end all of your anxiety in just a few minutes. And if you do have HIV, there are support groups and help for that. None of this should end your life. P.S. You are not an idiot for having unprotected sex. Ask yourself if it was your decision or if you were coerced into it. Even if it was the former you are still not an idiot.

I think I know what she means. I'm 19 years old, a virgin and I've done everything except sex. I'm afraid that if I have sex, I'll not be innocent anymore (this is how I feel, I'm not saying your girlfriend feels the exact same way. I can just sympathize). I see myself as a virgin. I've been a virgin my entire life. It's part of the way I identify myself. I'm proud of being a virgin, considering the fact that most people lose their virginity at a much younger age. I'm not saying I'm sure about this, but I would like to have the option of waiting until I'm married to have sex. You can always lose your virginity but once it's gone, it's gone. I think she just wants to be a virgin for a while longer.

If you can honestly say that it has nothing to do with you, then all you can do is be patient and supportive and let her come to you. If you're a halfway decent person you'll tell her that you want her to have sex for herself, not just because you want to, and you're fine doing it on her timeline.

Then all you can do is make the sex you're having so amazing that she'll be dying to try other things, while being the world's most awesome boyfriend in all other respects. So get cracking on that.

Tell her to try it once with you (and tell her you will be gentle and easy and take it at HER pace) and if she can't handle it, try it again another day. You have to show her it's not scary. Good luck!

Wait until your'e married, It might help :)