How do I tell my husband I want a divorce, without feeling guilty?

Consider the possibility that if you stop allowing him to rely on you maybe he will be forced to do something on his own! Maybe the best thing you can do for him and your children (they should be proud of their father don't you think?) is to divorce him! Maybe he will grow up, get a license, get a job and get himself under control. A little self respect might do wonders for his anger issues!

Although I understand your feelings about keeping the family together, I do not believe anything you say to this man will be taken lightly. For your safety, hire a lawyer and make a plan ---in advance. It sounds like he might become violent when his situation is altered to his disadvantage. Also, he obviously uses your good intentions against you and that is why you need to have others present when you ask for a divorce. They can keep you focused and help protect you. If you want to feel less guilty, think about this.....you cannot change a person regardless of how hard you try. They must change on their own. If he is sleeping on the couch, he doesn't want to make it work or something is medically wrong with him. Either way, this is not a marriage. It is a hotel. He is the guest and you pay the bill. I think the reason he gets so angry is he knows deep down that you are right, but he is not moved enough to do anything about it. If anybody should be angry, it is you. Keep telling yourself that and just do it. God does not expect us to live in misery. It is okay to be happy and your kids deserve to have a happy life as well. Good luck and God bless.

Omg,,feel sorry dear ,,,but my advise is i think you are bit too soft for him,,it always us women who loves more and more and they take advantage of this ...it all depends on you what you want end of day ...if you want to be with him ...then tell him to look after the kids and keep him at home you go out to work and have fun with few good talk and laugh you will feel better doesn't matter if he doesn't work at least let him do the housework ...if not if u don't want to be with him ..if u cant straight tell him u need a divorce ..don't be scared may be u never know he will change ...FIRST u tell and see what he tells you ,,at least he should be sleeping with you ...that's not like husband at all ...take all your kids go away to ur mum house keep him alone for sometimes make him feel he misses you ,,and loves you then may be he will change ...some separation changes man ...well it happen to me ..that's y i am telling you..hope that helps ..you are strong woman ..you came so far ...with all those troubles all by yourself still you can do it .bye nw .

Think about how your life will improve without this boat anchor of a man weighing you down! A husband is supposed to be an equal, a partner, a team mate, your most ardent fan and greatest supporter. Your husband is just a fourth dependent who, unlike the kids, will never grow up or move out unless you force the issue. He's coasting. What are you waiting for?

dear Pixie, a relationship like this never will end in a good note . for the reson u have kids in voled. however u have to be brutily honest w/urself fisrt, then confront him and tell him straight out ur feelings to this situation. and dont let feelings get the best of u when u do this .be spacific in ur resons and to the point. but dont talk down to him . talk on an equal level to a point where it will all sink in.ive been through this, i was married for 26 yrs and i just lost it and coudnt do it no more . so i faced my demons made a list of good and bad. i confronmted and even offered councilling . but to no avil i didnt work so i just basicly said good bye.i wish u all the best in ur delema ,but hope all works out . let me know . YOUR FRIEND Karl

Why would you feel guilty? Its better that your kids not be around a guy like that anyways... If you really want to leave, don't even worry about him. Just pack up and drive. Let him have the house and be unemployed. Leave him to deal with the mess he has made of his life... His happiness and ability to accept what's about to happen isn't your responsibility. He dropped the ball with your relationship. There's nothing to feel bad about... Just go. Don't even attempt to "end things well" because I doubt that will happen and it will only cause you more stress by trying to be civil with a hot-head like him. My father had major anger issues that I had to deal with my entire childhood, while my mother left when I was 2 (he got full custody of me and she only saw me on weekends). As soon as I could, I moved to be with my mom just to get away from him. Don't let that be the case with your kids too.. All the bad things you have noticed, I'm sure they have picked up on too. Its time to go.

If he has slept on the couch for 5 years then how come you have 3 kids? Are they triplets?

Just kidding!

I think you should write him and email or leave a letter when u go outside home.It would be easier for you!

You can support him after divorce if you really want him to be comfortable :)