I feel so guilty! Bursted my friend's bubble...?

Question

One of my closest friends and I are at a horror film convention where he's attending for the second time to see his favorite actress.  He's 45 and in the 8 years I've known him, I've come to believe he has autism.  He wasn't diagnosed (which is amazing to me) but his identical twin has Aspergers and trust me, my friend has it also.  He is sooooo drawn to this woman that I cringe.  He'll point and kind of yell "There she is!" each time she's near.. in the hall... in the restaurant... at her table.  Last night we were passing her in the hall and he just stopped walking and stood there to watch her and her friends talking.  He's taken up her time several times this weekend left a lot of fans waiting for a long time.  People in the line started whispering "He's being weird!" I let them know he was with ME!  Once he realized that she was sitting across the aisle from us during a documentary about her, he changed his seat to one sitting nearest to her in the row as soon as it was available.  She saw him and immediately left.  He has to approach her every single time he sees her and stay for awhile.  I noticed that she was escorted from place to place.  No other actor has escorts here.  I thought she was weirded out and told him about himself.  He feels soooo bad.  He thinks he can't like her anymore and was going to apologize and say "goodbye" to her forever which thank God I was able to talk him out of.  I feel horrible.  He's sulking and slinking around and is only motivated by thoughts of her and talking to her.  What should I do?

♪♫bbtalk Sha&#39;mone☮ · Accepted Answer

Your friend sounds like a very good person, who, like you already know, has some problems.Well first off, don't be so hard on yourself, you were doing the only thing you knew to do, most of us would have done the same thing if we were in the spot you were in and you were tying to help the situation. Some would have even been mean about it, I mean you know how some people can be, some, just don't care, it's plain to see that you do care about your friend, and that's a big plus for him, he's lucky to have you as a good friend and you genuinely care, or you wouldn't have asked this question if you didn't truly care, so please don't feel guilty for doing your best.Is there anyway you could ask a doctor about how they might give you some tips on how to get him to go see a doctor? You can keep his name anonymous, just in case you don't agree with their advice, or maybe talk to a social worker, or someone like this who has experience with these kinds of issues? Besides the problems he's always had, he also sounds severely depressed.Ive been depressed myself at times, and this sure sounds like severe depression.If he's already on an anti depressant, it may need to be changed, these things sometimes stop working and if that happens it can make depression worse.He probably needs to see a doctor and maybe they'll put him on an anti depressant, if he's not already taking one, until then, all you can do is try to get him interested in something new like music, a new music artist, a new hobby....etc. Music is very powerful and some, use it as therapy, Im one of them.There's a song for every situation in life.Anyway i wish you both the best, remember, you were only doing what you had to do, this could have caused even more problems if you hadn't of stepped up and said something, you did about the only thing you could do. I hope things work out.

rookgaroo · Answer

Ask him to seek help.  It doesn't matter if you think he's autistic or has Asperger's.  That's not your call to make.  He needs professional help.  Forget about how it might embarrass you and think of the person being stalked.

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I feel so guilty! Bursted my friend's bubble...?

2 Answers