I feel sad that my daughter, aged 9, and I don't get along. Can anyone help me?

You are her mom, not her friend. This is just the beginning. You are right to insist that she put things away when you asked, and you are right to apply punishment for her disrespect. I would put a time limit on the no-swimming rule so the punishment is clear. She will continue to push and test you, and the challenges will get much bigger and more important as she gets closer to being a teen. Dont let her make you feel bad, and definitely dont let her know she made you feel bad. You are in the right here...this is all part of her growing up. Tell her everyday that you love her, too!

At some point a Mother-Daughter relationship becomes more than love and snuggles. You were right to take away privileges for her telling you to shut up. That is uncalled for and in this house would result in standing in the corner and an extra chore. I have a 9 year old son and he told me to shut up once, and it hasn't happened again because I stood my ground and made him realize I mean business. If you told her to put something away and she threw a fit about it then she is testing your boundaries. This is going to happen A LOT. She wants to see what she can get away with. Never give in because even though she is upset, you are doing the right thing. You are teaching her respect and the consequences for disrespecting. Sounds to me you're doing a great job. Rewarding her with taking her to the movies and such are teaching her the wrong thing also. Punishment for disrespecting and goodies for good behavior! :D

I think all mother-daughter relationships are difficult at times. As they get to her age and throughout the teen years you really gotta work on the relationship. Make sure you are taking her out just the two of you even if you need to do something cheap or free (like going for a walk) and having good quality talks with each other. Build as good of a bond now as you can before she is a teen and it is much more difficult. Remind her constantly how much you love her. Set boundaries that are unbreakable. Just make sure that she knows you are always there for her. She loves you and you love her. Sometimes that's gonna be hard to see but that is the truth. Take time for just the two of you to grow your bond at least once a week no matter how or what you do together. God bless and Good luck!

Yourr Daughter Has Probably Something That Is Bothering Her. If Youu Ask Her What's Goingg Onn She Won't Answer Youu Ritee Away. Just Giv Her Some Alone Time. Then Buy Her Something Andd Ask Her WHat's Going Onn Andd It Could B Anything Andd Youu Won't Tell. Pinky Promise With Her Youu Won't Tell Andd Don't Tell. Also Tell Her That You Won't Get Mad. If It Gets You Mad Just Stay Calm Andd Talk To Her. If You Don't Stay Calm Andd Over React She'll Be Really Upset Andd Won't Tell Youu Stuff Anymore. Hoped I Helped. :)>

Try offering to take her to movies that she want to see and take her out to the mall or to get take out or something fun.

Try doing more fun things together.

For example...?