How do parents get kids to obey?

reverse psychology

I have to disagree. Kids are not born to be eternally good or bad. We are just born babies who know no good or evil.

We are shaped by what we learn and our environment and surroundings. If your child continuously disobeys you and does not behave as you want, then you are doing something wrong. (in a perfectly normal healthy child who does not suffer from ADD or FAS or some other disability that causes misbehavior) If you want a child to listen to you, you do not resort to any of those things you mentioned. You need to

-always get down to their level to speak with them, especially when disciplining

-talk in a respectful, firm but calm tone when disciplining never shout or act out of control

-be consistant. whatever the punishment is, always discipline for that behavior. do not let it go sometimes and other times discipline for it and stick to the same discipline

-When they misbehave, take them and walk them over to a stair or a chair in the centre of the room. Kneel down so you are eye level and say `you did ----------which is not ok and now you have to sit here for X amount of minutes. the number of minutes should corrospond to their age

They may cry but if you remain calm and in control they will sit there until the time is up. when the time is up you go kneel down again and tell them you still love them but every time they do that behavior they will have to come back and sit on the time out chair again. give them a hug and send them back to play

-show lots of love and attention and praise always giving them positive affirmations

-have a routine for bedtime, read lots of stories, cuddle and show them how to gain positive attention

-Do not ever call a child `bad` or use negative words to describe them. After a while of hearing themselves being called `bad`they start to believe it and act accordingly. If you build kids up and make them feel as though they are eternally good they will believe that and act accordingly.

If you do all of these things on a regular every day basis your child WILL listen and be obedient. They will not feel the need to act out and not listen because they get enough positive attention and dont feel the need to seek out any available attention through bad behavior.

Whenever I hear about `bad kids` it bothers me. Childrens behaviors are direct reflections of the parenting they`ve received. Babies are not born good or bad. They will grow into whoever you shape them to be.

I don't believe in control and obey: as a parent myself, your personal example makes me sad.

My jobs as a parent are to

1. Provide a safe place for my kid. It's a big bad world out there, and everyone, especially kids, need a place to feel safe.

2. Teach my kid how to be a responsible, capable person. When my kid was young and pitched a fit, I simply ignored the behavior. She learned within a week that bad behavior earned her no attention. The flip side to this is that I praised her for good behavior as well. Kids are just like us, really...they want some attention and some well-deserved praise.

3. Teach her how to make good choices on her own. We all have an internal moral compass (a conscience). I ask her what she thinks when she encounters a dilemma. Sure, she makes mistakes sometimes, but we all do. But she knows when she does because she listens to herself.

In short, my job isn't to punish her into submission, but to help her learn how to make responsible decisions. In your example, it's just abuse. Kids need adults. They rely on us for survival. And when adults abuse that privilege, it's not only a shame, but devastating to the child.

I think what it comes down to is respect. If you love and respect your children they will love and respect you. If there is mutual respect between parent and child there is little need for yelling, threats, and all that other rubbish.