Why Does My Family Put My Ex-Husband's Girlfriend's Feelings Ahead of Mine?

In the 18 years since the divorce, how many birthdays have you celebrated with your daughters? How many holidays have you spent with your daughters? How many Sundays have you spent with your daughters?

When you married him, you put him in the position of being a second father to your oldest daughter. You made him the father of your other children. He was a good guy and maintained a fatherly relationship with your daughter for nearly 20 years. To your daughter, he is dad. YOU put him in that role by marrying him and making other babies with him. He divorced you. He did not divorce the father-daughter relationship with his step-daughter. And your daughter did not divorce her father-daughter relationship with her step-father.

Why are you intruding on your childrens' time with their dad? How would you feel if you made plans to visit your children and your ex decided to suddenly show up and spend the week and sleep under the same roof because they happen to all be gathered at the same place.

Your husband is right in staying home. You should too. This isn't your time to spend with the kids. I get along with my husband's ex, but I wouldn't want to go on vacation with her...which is what you are trying to force. And who are you to dictate that she should stay home instead of going on a vacation with her man.

You are wrong.

Um....what? You are joking, right?

I have an ex-husband and no way in HELL would I muscle my way in to a sleep over situation if he and his GF (if he had one) were staying with one of our adult children...just because I am their mother. My place is with MY HUSBAND and my kids have the right to have who ever they wish stay at THEIR HOME and DNA is not an entitlement, y'know....I would NEVER INTRUDE!

There's a reason why your Hubby wants no part of this and I'm guessing it's your behavior as well as hers...betcha you both have a silly immature competition going on and since SHE's with HIM now, and he's staying over the step-daughter's home, they don't have the choice...to keep the peace you have not been invited. You know how I know this? Your " She'll be laughing all the way back home if she gets her way" statement tells me it's a competition between the two of you and you BOTH are feeding it.

Think of how it comes across "Well if HE and THAT WOMAN can sleep over your house, I should TOO!"

Just because he is visiting with his step-daughter, his bio-children and their family does not mean You do...every time. Why are you inserting yourself into HIS VISIT with the kids????

It's been 20 years for Pete's sake...it's OVER. both you women need to grow up.

BTW, tell them to go fetch MOM...since you are not invited, why are YOU playing taxi-lady?

well, you should've jumped on the reservation with your daughter first.

It's odd they are favoring the ex step-father over you. It has nothing to do with his girlfriend, I would guess, but more to do with you and he being exes.

You said you live an hour's drive? How far does he live? An hour's drive is not that far, plus however much farther your mom lives from that.

Sounds like they are honoring whoever made the plans first, that's all. Next time, plan ahead.

There is no reason your kids should have to entertain you and your ex at the same time. You are wrong. Since you have already stated that you don't care what your kids think, I guess it doesn't matter. You can spend the weekend mad if you want. Next year, have the party at your house, since you keep score.

I think as the Mom you should be invited to sleep over. I would explain your feelings and that you are hurt at the snub. But you cannot force them to change. So, if you are no invited, I would go over every chance you get and smile and show everyone you are the bigger person. Don't let the GF goad you no matter what. If she is trying to get a rise out of you, her colors will show and maybe your kids will see that. Just smile, be the great Mom you are and kill with kindness.

I'd have to say I agree with you. If she's that sensitive, she shouldn't be part of it at all. You're husband is staying away so why can't she? It's a family affair and she's ONLY a girlfriend not part of the family. You should be allowed to stay there more than her.

why in heavens name do you belong visiting there with your ex and his g.f.?

or your mother?

how weird.

hes there to see his daughter.

it's not a family reunion.

i could not care less where or when my ex visits our grown daughters.

have a little dignity and butt out

Drop them all, they are not the family that loves you.