When should a marriage end?

Do you agree with what the therapist is telling you about how you're feeling? What's the plan to rebuild your self-esteem and help you feel good about yourself? Is your husband still attacking your self-esteem and self-confidence with his angry verbal outbursts? Is he mistreating you any other way?

Is your marriage really hopeless? Do you not see it as getting better? Are things getting better since you and your husband have been in counseling together?

What could he do to help you feel better about yourself and him and your relationship? Can he help you to feel less 'dead inside'?

Are you depressed? Some of your symptoms would indicate this. What does your counselor think about this?

A-ha moments can happen when a person hits rock bottom and has had enough. Time might make a difference but maybe it won't. If there are other things about your husband's behavior that are too much for you or if you're not seeing any true change in his behavior you'll need to make that decision. You'll also need to decide for yourself if his 'best behavior' is only temporary and is only happening because you threatened to leave.

Good question.

I truly believe that marriage is Respect, Admiration, Passion and Trust, ---the four biggies---with a whole lot of lovies and kindnesses each shows the other.

I see about nothing of these four in what you have described.

You don't have a marriage. You are living with the man who sired a child with you 9 years ago, and one with anger issues, that are unresolved.

If you had no child together, I'd be the first to tell you to bail. But you do. And we know that kids raised in intact families, do better in school, and in life, than kids of single mothers. However you have described a man not in control of his rage and resentment. And he has likely damaged that child in addition to damaging you.

Not a good thing.

In your place, I'd indeed file and divorce this man. I'd agree with your counselor in his/her assessment of your mental state.

Divorce is the admission of a death.

And the sooner you bury this marriage, the sooner you can move on, and so can your child, who is as well, is likely traumatized by his rage.

Try looking at www.MarriageMax or www.stopyourdivorce.com

Every relationship has a cycle. In the beginning you fell in love with your spouse. Y'all don't need to blame each other for the unhappiness. The key to succeeding in marriage is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

I was in an abusive relationship for years. I continued to listen to the I sorry it will never happen again until I saved enough money to get as far away from him as I could. Now I have been blessed with a loving and providing husband. Think about you and your daughter and you will gain the strength that you need to leave ASAP.

Your a-ha moment was when you finally said enough was enough and wanted to leave. Suddenly he wanted to get help because he doesn't want to deal with the divorce and the hassle of custody battles, etc. He is verbally abusive and abusive people are possessive. Now that he knows you're trying to stand up for yourself he is pulling in the reigns. I would leave him. For you and your daughter.

Your "a-ha" moments:

"I feel dead inside"

"He is always tired/angry and taking it out verbally on me and our child"

"I am so beat down emotionally and have no self esteem and that is why I feel so hopeless"

"he had anger management issues"

I'm sorry u r going thru this but he really has more issues than you and your child should have to deal with. Continue to seek counselling for yourself so that you won't carry the wya he treats you into your next relationship. Best wishes to you on whatever you decide

problems from diabetes? Avoid sweet food, soda and fruit juice.

Get tested. out of control blood sugar causes moodiness.

eat whole grains and protein. it will help keep his blood sugar stable. lose the donuts and pancakes.