For Tammy, ..still dulled by the morphine pumps and the indignity...c/c?

I just lost a friend to stage 4 colon cancer so I can empathize with the stuggle in the poem.

The parts that resonate with me are S1 L4-5: While there is a sense that we wish they were free of pain we also wish despertly that they would remain with us. It's a hard dynamic, but a true one.

I also like the image in S3 though some I may suggest some rearrangement instead of a tightrope having them balance upon that razor or that knife. The rhyme is fine but there are times I think it could be stronger just ignoring it and rearranging the lines for impact. Reworking it so that it's the tightrope's razored edge might be a more fulfiling image.

I like the message of the piece. I do want to give you another view to consider though I have separated out though what I consider your strongest lines. For a severe cut free verse look (just for illustration you might look to something like this (I mean no disrespect with this cut just showing another view to think about--ignore it if you like). There are a few minor edits (some I mentioned and some to make the lines fit) even if you have a hell no response I at least want to isolate the lines that stood out to me most:

when teardrops fail to fall real pain begins

sometimes we pray the sobbing never ends

for this alone cause lungs to fall and rise

the deepest wounds are wordless

a quiet scream pierces like a sharpened knife

you walk a razored tightrope's edge

with a cut you'll feel for your entire life

one hope remains: someone who understands this trail

of unshed tears and torment silence tells

It's a good poem as you have it though with many strong lines. Hopefully, this gives you something to reflect upon that will be valuable.

Best,

Todd

They can. They gave me ibuprofen and T3.. That was also a couple (9) years ago. There has been more info since then. So, I have a list of meds that are approved, approved with caution, and NOT recommended. In fact, my last baby was born in Feb of 07 and I didn't get morphine then either. Interesting to note that some here do....They gave me a block and that held me for a long time. I never even had an epi.

Gurl, I have MISSED you! Just thinking about you this morning and here you are! This is a mighty tortured tale and for every good reason! My sis-in-law had the most aggressive kind of breast cancer but she is cancer free, too. I wish Tammy well! SO good to see you again! Good to READ you again! My son has to have a biopsy of a growth on his kidney; it's scary stuff. Take care & we'll keep Tammy in our prayers!

A moving tribute of compassion for your suffering friend. Cancer may have one on the bed but it hurts all around that care. Hang in there, I am sure she feels your love and support.

Hi. very touching and heartfelt poem. Sin i wish your friend and quick and safety recover. The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person’s determination.

Sin it is always good to see you and in this to hug you to our hearts, most related. This is, as I'll echo Dave and Neon, a loving tribute and a powerful piece, and I as well as they and others can very well relate. I've been battling 18 months.

It works because it once again becomes specific in the last two stanzas.

Too often poems like this get mired in ambiguous language or overly poetic phrasing without addressing actual subject matter.

Loved it.

I love your poem it is spectacular. I'm PO'd cause I can't see the picture. I got rid of my FB account so - oh well I can use my imagination- I see you both giggling in the future. Love to both of you and how is her husband?

you have described the tremendous strength and effort surrounding her...

..my sister...it's almost a year now since she passed..I see her as you have written...

thank you for sharing..and best wishes for a remarkable outcome

sending hugs and good wishes to both you and Tammy,

I wish that we could eradicate all pain and suffering.