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what is your opinon about a wife that is on disablity and her spouse works?
And she keeps the home clean and does laundry and all the things a wife should do and even picks up after her spouse. He always throws his clothes in the bedroom floor and leaves them layin in the floor and you never know if they are clean or dirty unless you ask him. and the wife gets tired of picking up his clothes and thinks that he should of put them in the dirty laundry basket ! And he makes a mess in the kitchen after he fixes himself food he leaves all his ditry dishes for the wife to clean up. When he got in the kitchen it was nice and clean but when he is done in there he leaves his mess. and if she ask him to clean up his mess he gets an attittude and tells her I will do it later but sometimes later never comes cause he goes to bed and leaves the mess.So she then will clean it up because she can't stand a mess. He will open cabinets and not close them back and this gets on her nerves. He also will open his sock drawer or any drawer with his clothes and he will always leave the drawers open with clothes hanging out. He will go to bed and leave beer can's all in the living room and she picks them up and throws them away or sometimes leave them for him to throw away the next day. Is this common in your marriage ? And should she just leave the house a mess and wait and see if he cleans it up? what would you do if your spouse was messy? would you live in his mess or clean it up for him? and not bother him about it? I mean men say your bitchin about it. but he is neat at work an orderly. but not at home it seems. she feels like he is taking advantage of her or taking her for granted because he leaves it for her to clean up after all she doesn't work and he does.
3 Answers
- 10 years ago
He should be cleaning up after himself. If he had any respect for his wife he would. Go and clean for anyone else as a live-in maid..she how much they pay you. Doing housework everyday is a JOB. I know this from experience. And I also know how frustrating it can be to live with a slob. You need to ask him to respect you and pick up after himself. If he still doesnt ..dont touch a damn thing in the house..he will either clean it himself or hire a maid..either way youre in the free.
Good luck.
- ?Lv 710 years ago
well, i dont think its the wifes responsibility to clean up after him, and i dont think she should just stuff her emotions and pick up after him without saying anything, because that would just make her resent him.
I think that sounds very typical, its certainly how it is around my house. my husband is the exact same way, the only difference is, so am i. i am just as messy, but yet at the same time, the mess does bother me i just dont often do much about it. the mess doesnt bother my husband either. but i do have to ask him to pick things up otherwise he wont do it, and it does cause some squabbling because he doesnt want me to bother him about it so much and yet i get frustrated because he puts it off, forgets to do it, etc.
I think a book that would really help you would be "men are from mars, women are from venus" by john gray.. cause he address these types of issues... teaches us how to communicate with our spouses in a way that wont annoy them, in a way that is effective. i need to re-read it cause its been years..
we need to communicate calmly and respectfully when things bother us. like how the wife feels she is taken for granted even though she doesnt have a job.
just because the wife doesnt have a paying job does not mean she should have to do everything at home.. husbands always need to help out. like, at least with the yard work or fixing things, or whatever. maybe you can assign chores.. like in our house, i do most of the laundry and he does most of the dishes. sometimes we switch, or work together, it varies.. we dont have things down perfect and we will never be perfect but as long as we have communication everything works out okay in the end. it helps to remember not to raise your voice or yell, but to instead just have a logical discussion about it. speaking as partners, not as enemies. hope i at least made a little sense and good luck to you!
- T. R.Lv 510 years ago
He could be taking advantage of her because she is disabled and not able to work. So he must feel like he is bringing home the paychecks while she isn't. He could also be thinking that she isn't working while he is. He has to realize that house keeping is work and she is also getting a check from social security. He needs to grow up and treat her like a husband should.
