Should I go to marriage counseling?

Question

I had suggested it to my wife (now separated) many times in the past.  She always told other people that it was me who was unwilling to do it.  She treats me like a child so I act the part.  Yes it is childish but it had been getting me by for a long time.  She has had a job for a total of 1 month in the last 4 yrs we have been together.  And never once had I came in the house when I got home from my job that I have had for 4+yrs and nitpicked about everything that wasn't done.  She does that to me and I get somewhat pissed.  She expects me to work 40+ hrs a week and do all the housecleaning.  And of course her idea of fun is talking on the phone and getting involved in drama with everyone.   She even puts her friends and family (extended).  Before me or US.  I got sick of it.  Have been holding all this in for a long time.  I couldn't even talk to her about any of this without her getting defensive and getting mad.  After our screaming match the day before yesterday.  She even called my mother to pick me up.  She is older than me by 3 years.   
I have caught her in lies that when she lied to me again when I pointed it out.  I doubt she has ever told me the truth.   For Ex: I asked her if her and her friend Kevin ever dated (I wouldn't have cared).
She had told me when we were first dating that she wanted to date him and he chose another girl.
But on her facebook.  When my wife was badmouthing me she said something under the lines of.  "I dont get people.  Throw me away and you will miss me"  and he replied "I know I lost you once and I regret it everyday".    Its been so many things like that. 
And i have never made an issue out if it.  And never brought it up in a fight.  I don't dwell. 
But our fights consist of her calling me names.   And me defending myself which according to her is 
"attacking her verbally".   If you read this whole thing thank you.  For the rest that don't .. I don't blame you.  I am just venting.   Wife was like a part of me.  And I don't want her to be if it sounds like this cycle will never end.

kristi · Accepted Answer

Yes! Just by taking the time to get on her and write that whole thing, proves you really love her! And I am sure she does too! Not sure how old y'all are but if y'all are young then that's the problem. If y'all to to concealing so you can work things out y'all will grow out of the childish fights and name calling. I am 22 my husband is 25. We have been together for 5 years we have arguments all the time and call each names just cause we are young and insure so everythings a fight. But at the end of our argument we live each other and would never break up. We are currently working on how to talk and work things out without fighting! Anyways, yes please talk her into going and fix your marriage before you lose each other for good! Goodluck

OMAR G · Answer

I read your question, and it seem like you are talking about my wife. How old are you? And how long have you been married? If you have only one girl, I would tell you to leave her, she is not going to change and once you have more kids, the harder it gets to leave her. I’ve been married for 17 years with four kids and many problems similar to yours but now it is too hard to leave her. So before is to late or harder, I would recommend you to divorce her and find someone that can see how valuable your are.

wiltrout · Answer

it did not aid, we went eight occasions in combination and a couple of occasions on my own. not anything converted, my spouse was once one hundred% terrible and almost refused to cooperate. she says she loves me however i do not purchase it... her variation of affection is situated on her manner or the freeway. the primary trouble is that she is going to under no circumstances provoke intercourse and he or she may not provide an explanation for why. whilst i provoke, eighty% of the time she says no. after 12 years of unemotional rejection i went ballistic. she did not care. i do not desire to divorce, we've 2 exceptional youngsters and the whole lot else is fine. however the counselor might no longer aid me get to the basis of the trouble, i don't have any notion what her obstacle is. if each humans are inclined to speak and determine a compromise (or the responsible get together offers in and alterations) then you definately don't want any counselor. but when one get together may not deliver in and cooperate... then the counselor is not going to be equipped to difference that. the only factor it did accomplish was once that it gave me the arrogance that I attempted, and that the concern wasn't my fault.

? · Answer

Why would you want someone like that back?  Sounds like her leaving was the best thing that's happened to you in 4 years.

? · Answer

That sucks.
Don't waste your money on counseling - spend it on a good lawyer that will let you keep as much of your stuff as possible.

Trending News

Should I go to marriage counseling?

5 Answers