Girlfriend hanging out with another guy?

Question

So, me and my girlfriend have been together for about 8 months, and are both 18 years old.

We have a very strong relationship, talk everyday, both each other's first boy/girlfriend, and we love each other completely.

So, my dilemma is:

She has received texts from a guy who I've never met, and she's never mentioned him EVER, in any conversations. She never brought up his name at all. I could see him texting her because I usually hold her phone in my pocket because her pockets are too small and she hates taking her purse. I felt her phone vibrate in my pocket once when we were together and I took it out for her to check, and I noticed it was this guy again.

I brushed it off as nothing more than just a friend, as I didn't want to come off as too suspicious and controlling. However, this continued on and on and I just got more irritated, as she STILL didn't mention anything about him.

About last week, they were texting apparently and he called her out of nowhere, and she quickly grabbed the phone and put it on Silent. Since then, I've been very worried and suspicious so I decided to ask her about it. I asked her who he is, and why she's never mentioned him before.

She said, "He's just a friend who I lost touch with and I never found a reason to talk about him. I didn't think it was a big deal for me to be texting him since I know he's only a friend".

I trust her and believe that he's just a friend, but I just don't understand why she decided it was perfectly normal to not mention him at all.

So anyways, she tells me today (after I've asked her about who he is and everything) and she says' "Oh, well, me and Alan are going to lunch on Wednesday". I was like "Okay, sure". I thought it was odd how she never told me anything about him but all of a sudden, she makes plans to see him.

I imagine if I never asked her about him, what would she have told me she was doing when she goes to see him?

MY QUESTION IS: SHOULD I BE ALARMED AT THE SITUATION? SHOULD I BE WORRIED?


I'm sorry if it's long, but I just thought you'd be able to understand it more clearly.

Katelyn B · Answer

No you should not be worried at all. Based on what is said above it sounds like she's just reconnecting with an old friend. Trust is one of the key elements to a healthy relationship, let her know that you trust her. That may be one if the reasons she hasn't told you about this guy. She may think that she's not trusted. Because she is a girl she may not think anything of it but since guys and girls are built differently this other guy might think differently about the relationship. I would make sure she knows that and then see how things progress.. If time passes and you still don't trust this guy and if you are still not comfortable with him then simply tell her this. You say she loves you and if that's true she will respect your wishes and put you first.

Moonstruck · Answer

This is very strange to me. But I'll say first that maybe some girls act this way and something really isn't going on but I know that I would tell my boyfriend. I tell my boyfriend most everything and hiding this guy friend from him seems kind of strange. If it's nothing, than usually you would just say "yeah I'm texting this old friend but don't worry sweetie, I promise he's just a friend." 
And even actually explaining to you who he is, how she even met him. Just some random guy is weird also. 

See how your relationship continues and if she still isn't opening up then tell her your concern. You're not being unreasonable. There's no reason for her to keep that sort of thing from, of course she doesn't have to tell you everything but this sort of thing is strange in my opinion.

I wish you all the best. Stay strong.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes it's fair for you to be upset about this. There shouldn't really be secrecy in a relationship. You should make sure she isn't cheating though. Tell her that you feel insecure about her and this guy you've never met, maybe even ask if you can go to lunch with them just to see who this guy is and what his intentions are.

? · Answer

Ask her in case you are able to tag alongside if she says something different than confident it extremely is beneficial to think of a pair of latest relationship. the sorrowful fact(in spite of any polls say) women lie and cheat as much as adult males. If she would not desire you there i'd heavily think of that something became up. Now those are basically my evaluations, this comes from spending fullyyt to lots time with a expert liar,cheat and thief. After awhile i'd desire to tell whilst she became mendacity, her lips would pass. ;-) ha

Steph♥ · Answer

you should be alarm but dont start assuming things you should really talk about this ans see whats up with the other guy and if u wnan go far you can spy on this lunch date see what happens durning that time you know...

Anonymous · Answer

You guys need to talk, need communication, of you have some questions, try to solve together

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Girlfriend hanging out with another guy?

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