Girlfriend hanging out with another guy?

Question

So, me and my girlfriend have been together for about 8 months, and are both 18 years old.

We have a very strong relationship, talk everyday, both each other's first boy/girlfriend, and we love each other completely.

So, my dilemma is:

She has received texts from a guy who I've never met, and she's never mentioned him EVER, in any conversations. She never brought up his name at all. I could see him texting her because I usually hold her phone in my pocket because her pockets are too small and she hates taking her purse. I felt her phone vibrate in my pocket once when we were together and I took it out for her to check, and I noticed it was this guy again.

I brushed it off as nothing more than just a friend, as I didn't want to come off as too suspicious and controlling. However, this continued on and on and I just got more irritated, as she STILL didn't mention anything about him.

About last week, they were texting apparently and he called her out of nowhere, and she quickly grabbed the phone and put it on Silent. Since then, I've been very worried and suspicious so I decided to ask her about it. I asked her who he is, and why she's never mentioned him before.

She said, "He's just a friend who I lost touch with and I never found a reason to talk about him. I didn't think it was a big deal for me to be texting him since I know he's only a friend".

I trust her and believe that he's just a friend, but I just don't understand why she decided it was perfectly normal to not mention him at all.

So anyways, she tells me today (after I've asked her about who he is and everything) and she says' "Oh, well, me and Alan are going to lunch on Wednesday". I was like "Okay, sure". I thought it was odd how she never told me anything about him but all of a sudden, she makes plans to see him.

I imagine if I never asked her about him, what would she have told me she was doing when she goes to see him?

MY QUESTION IS: SHOULD I BE ALARMED AT THE SITUATION? SHOULD I BE WORRIED?


I'm sorry if it's long, but I just thought you'd be able to understand it more clearly.

y0shimi · Answer

Here's the issue: both of you are so young and further more it's only a 8 months relationship.. still prone to changes.

What if, you are the only one who thinks that both of you are sweetly in love? What if she doesnt think this way? 

Okie, i am not trying to be a wet blanket.. but lets just look at both side .. always prepare yourself for the worst.

Personally... sorry to say, I do behave as your girlfriend at times.. In my opinion:-
1. I am kinda interested in the guy
2. I am enjoying flirting with him
3. He is important to me
4. He is an ex or someone I used to like which I dun feel like exposing to my current boyfriend
5. I dont want my boyfriend to go all jealous about it

As such, the bad points are much more than the good. 

Though sometimes I will encourage communications but in this scenario.. it is the type of "even if you kill me I am not gonna say the truth" which is troublesome.

But at the same time,  keeping quiet doesnt help as it will only build up the tension inside you.

My best advise to you:-
Find a suitable timing, speak to her (yes communications)
Bring up the issue
tell her of your discomfort.. ask her to put herself in your shoes... 
ask her whether she can give an explanation to ease you.. 
cross your fingers that she speaks up..

? · Answer

Ask her in case you are able to tag alongside if she says something different than confident it extremely is beneficial to think of a pair of latest relationship. the sorrowful fact(in spite of any polls say) women lie and cheat as much as adult males. If she would not desire you there i'd heavily think of that something became up. Now those are basically my evaluations, this comes from spending fullyyt to lots time with a expert liar,cheat and thief. After awhile i'd desire to tell whilst she became mendacity, her lips would pass. ;-) ha

Asia C · Answer

First how long as she been talking to him? Before you said something about it, Well about ow long do you think it has been? Secondly,  If you say that you are both really in love than she would never want to hurt you so you would have nothing to worry about but if you think something is going on and you are really worried talk to her about it again, maybe ask to meet him. If she disagrees and I would say she is hiding something..  Hope it helpped

Anonymous · Answer

yea I'd be worried. It seems as if she's searching the market for a new bf but isn't sure she wants to lose you first if she doesn't find someone better.  

she may be cheating on you too, I'd personally meet up with this guy alan first

Mat Wethington · Answer

it just depends on how much you trust her and how well you know her alot of girls will go out with their guy friends you just have to trust thats all you can do dont become a jealous boyfriend cause that usually makes them pissed but kind of keep an eye on her reactions try to bring him up and see how she reacts sometimes other then that theres not much to do except find the guy and beat the crap out of him

jesserz · Answer

Kind of a toughie, because she could be completely telling the truth.
I'm sure you could sneak around to read her texts or go to their lunch,
but that doesn't show much trust.
If you honestly trust her, you shouldn't be worried.

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Girlfriend hanging out with another guy?

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