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I have no idea what to tell her?!?
My best friend asked me if she should file for child support?! While I think she should because she can use the additional money, I also know her baby's father and he's not a complete loser. He works and helps a little but not much. He doesn't give her any cash directly but she said that he pays half of child care and buys diapers about once a month. That's it. To me, that seems fair if he made minimum wage or something but I know for a fact (b/c we are co-workers) that he makes a lot more than her SO it seems he should be paying her a little more than he is. This is where I'm torn...I'm friends with both of them and they both seem to be hard working. I don't want him to struggle trying to pay her child support BUT I don't want her to struggle because she's not receiving enough. Personally, it's none of my business but she is really wanting my input. If he even knew she asked me, he'd be pissed BUT I'm not going to share that with him. If you're wondering, she and I were friends first and when times were tough, I helped her man get a job...that's how I know them. It's not some weird triangle so please keep the negative thoughts to a min. and advise please!!
3 Answers
- Anonymous10 years agoFavorite Answer
He needs to contact child support enforcement and set up a voluntary order as anything he is giving her is legally considered a gift and she can claim retroactive child support on him. Men should never just take care of the child as it is setting himself up for a major fall.
In a California case, the children of David Bren, (age 18 & 22) were allowed to sue their father $134 million dollars in retroactive child support. The parents were never married. However, since 1988 the father paid the mother $18,000.00 a month in child support, without a court order, so it was a gift.
Also, he has no legal rights to the child until a court order is in place, in any state. Give these to him.
http://dads-house.org/Paternity-WhatMenNeed2Know
Source(s): For 22 years, I have volunteered my time working with divorced and single fathers dealing in family law issues, most especially child support issues along with what the states are not teaching support obligors. ♂♀ - ?Lv 710 years ago
I'd be tempted to say "I know both of you, so I can't get in the middle of this".
But really, he's not pulling his weight. He's doing a few things and saying "there, I did my part". (I hear that many men do something similar about sharing the raising of the children and the running of the house.)
She should either negotiate for a proper settlement or sue him for it. This isn't about who will be burdened. This is about what is best for the child.
- MillieLv 710 years ago
If I were you I will stay out of it, she knows what she has to do. If you insert yourself into the situation, you will end up winning an enemy, either her or him, depending on what happens at the end.