How do I get along with my daughter-in-law?

If I were you, I would bide my time. If you believe you raised your son to have dignity and integrity, it will only be a matter of time before they wind up in divorce court. I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but really listen to what you are saying. She is socially crippled and obviously does not have the ability to be reasonable much less family oriented. Having child may very well be the catalyst for moving the entire affair to the next level, which is probably down.

Knowing she will experience a giant challenge when she has the baby should be the gauge you use to determine your future with her in the family. In the meantime, don't screw up the chance to be a Grand Mother... Just my opinion.

You seemed to have spent a lot of your time and effort describing HER, even when you mentioned your son it was in the context of HER, and how she tends to offend you one way or the other.

It's not that I am siding with HER so much (she sounds disgusting) but I am trying to set your focus on where it belongs, with HIM (your son).

He's the one you raised, so HE should know how to behave in your living room when he and his wife come for visits. I am certain that you didn't teach him that it was OK to play dirty sex games in front of you before he moved out, so why are you allowing him to do it now?

As for renovating your bathroom just to please her I have to ask you, really?

One person comes into your house and voices concerns over your bathroom, so you re-do it just for her? Sorry, I don't buy that. Maybe you rationalized it that way, but no one renovates their own bathroom unless they want a new bathroom, so I recommend that you let that one go.

Same goes for your dress for your son's wedding.

I know there are some bridezilla's out there, but your decision to cowtow to her whims was YOUR choice unless you can show me the bruises on your arm where she twisted it.

Again, I am not on her side. I am actually on yours. The reason I am saying these things is because I want to give you a reality check, and help you shed some of this heavy baggage you seem to be carrying around for no good reason.

If she doesn't like the food you cook for her, then point to the kitchen, and tell her she can use it as long as she cleans up after herself.

She's the woman your son married, and I agree sometimes it isn't easy to like your son's choice for a life partner. I literally KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

But with a grandchild in the picture, I want to share my own personal experience and add a word of caution. Tread lightly.

So remember when it comes to their behaviour as a couple in your home, deal with the one you raised and is supposed to know better. You didn't raise her, and it isn't your job to start now just because she married into the family.

From my perspective, when in their home she can run around completely naked if she wants, it's her home, and her rules. The only thing you have any control over, is whether or not you are going to stay there to witness it.

Enjoy being a grandma as much as you an. In about a decade or so, your grandchild may not think the visits with you are so cool any more, so enjoy this time while you can.

I hate to say it, but because of age difference and the fact that you are well not her mother (and there for don't have any "control" over what she does) I think your best shot is to talk to your son. Say everything you just said. If you and your son have a good relationship, I'm sure he will understand and tell his wife that it is inappropriate to be sexually suggestive especially around the family and in public. good Luck

Don't talk to her. If you must say something, say it to your son. He might be able to be the buffer and help to make everyone more comfortable. He might even talk to her about it. But don't talk to her, that is a bad idea. If your son doesn't do anything about it, just be quietly uncomfortable. That's all you can do.