how can people who cheat turn it off and on?

Men from mars, women from venus ring any bells???

People deal with things differently...but his message alone screams volumes...good grief, I don't know why you can't see it....

He's got that madonna/whore thing going on...now that his wife is a momma, he can't see her as a sexual object, but only as the blessed vessel that brings his offspring into the world.

Now you, on the other hand, are what makes him feel good & sexual again. You are his special treat...

But he isn't torn between you guys at all. He will stay with his family & he will use you to feel alive for as long as you let him.

Sorry, I know it's harsh, but you want the truth, right....

PS: yeah, it makes a little bit of a difference...like my whole madonna/whore thing is wrong...LOL

if it's only emotional, then you aren't his treat....you are the soft place to fall that his wife isn't. By being that for him, he doesn't have to tell his wife he's not getting his emotional needs met, so she never knows....

if it's only an emotional affair, then my dear you are the entire problem & you need to step aside, very quickly & let them regain their emotional intimacy.

He can truly be in love with you, but he also has to play an act for his wife so it seems there is no change in their relationship. He might only be staying around for the child, which most people do. Have you talked about leaving your marriages and being together? If neither one of you are looking to leave your marriages then you have to take it at face value for what it is when you're together with him alone. It would draw too much attention to walk around the house skipping along singing love songs and claiming his love for you. You might be a great source of happiness in his life that his wife is no longer providing.

Wait wait what? Yes actually that it was only emotional DOES matter. He isn't upset because he sees he has done nothing wrong. There is no conflict he didn't actually cheat in his mind. Because it was only emotional it is also possible that the two of you just viewed what happened in an entirely different light. In his mind he never cheated it's just that simple.

Unfriend your facebook with him. You have no business looking at his FB.

Get another job ASAP or separate yourself from him in some way even if you have to just get a transfer. Get away from this guy.

Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love.

He just wanted sex and he was using you.

sorry. you deserve better.

----------

Your additional info is that it is an emotional affair only.

That is step 1 to a sexual affair.

I stand by my answer.

Get away from this guy before it crosses into a sexual affair

that really screws your life up.

I think you are being used.

Sorry.

He just used you for his emotional satisfaction while you actually fell for him. You need another job. You need to stop trying to get his attention with tears and emotional neediness. He clearly loves his wife and has no intention of leaving her for you. Start looking for another job. You have no business working with this guy.

Because he is a user and it is easy for him; he has a wife to 'fall back on'...you have nothing. He doesn't love you...he just loves having his cake and eating it too.

They chet tto satisfy temporarily an ego driven idea of being wanted by someone else. That is all.