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What does it mean when he says that he wants space?

I need help with some things that my boyfriend and I are going through. We have been dating for about 1 1/2 years and things were great in the beginning. I didn't want to be too serious with him in the beginning of our relationship, because I had a really bad breakup with a guy 6-7 months prior to that. But, in the summer of last year I decided to give him a try because I was over the guy that I had been with in the past. Things were okay in the summer, we stayed in the same area because we worked and go to the same college. Things became rocky in November of that year when I found out that he wanted to cheat on me with someone on Craigslist (I snooped in his email, I know that it was terrible of me, but I had this weird feeling to do so). When I brought it to his attention he was stonefaced and shocked and couldn't say anything, so I left, but he tried coming after me and crying and stuff to apologize. So for the next two weeks, he was very apologetic and "sorry." But, I wasn't too sure as to how sorry he was and if he really meant it or was just saying that to keep me around. Fast forwarding the next few months, we got into a lot of arguments and he felt that I should've gotten over him wanting to cheat on me if we were ever going to work things out. I kept explaining to him that it's not that easy for me to trust me that easily and that he would have to work to regain my trust. He became flirty with girls at parties and started wanting to go out with his friends to parties without me. But, he never slept by himself, he would always come back to my room when he went out. But now, it seems that we aren't on the same team anymore. We fight more than ever and have had huge fights where he calls me out of my names and when he ignores me and doesn't listen to what I have to say. And, I must admit I am guilty of saying things to him. But, we had one huge fight and he said that I needed to work on getting angry and saying things to him. So I have, but even when I try to talk to about normal stuff or important stuff relevant to our relationship, he ignores me or says that he doesn't have time or that he has to go somewhere. And when I express to him that I refuse to be his doormat and that I can't stick around for this, he tries to be nice and lovey-dovey. But it's just that I'm so confused because I don't think that this is real love because he still calls me out of my name and the other day, he kicked me out of his place (but he apologized for it the next day). But now, he's going through football camp and his coaches gives him **** and he has full days of practice and meetings and when I try to talk to him about things he just shuts me out. The other day he said that he needed his space but I don't know what that meant. He usually tells me to come over to his place after practice to sleep over and I do. So one day I came over but he asked me if I got his text and I didn't get it in time but it said that he wanted to sleep by himself tonight be cause he was "stressed out from football and dehydrated" But when I tried talking to him and I came into his room, he unpacked my stuff and let me stay over, and we cuddled for the night.

I know that every relationship is not perfect and the people within it won't be either. I'm not expecting that. But what I do expect is for their to be communication and honesty and to avoid confusion. Lately, I've been feeling very confused and like I should move on from this guy because he's not giving me the time and dedication that he used to.

And it blows my mind when he asks me to give him his space, but he would sleep in my room every night (we had an apartment together with three other housemates), and he would feel "entitled" to my room and my things. Every time that I asked him for space he would blow it off or say that I need to talk things over with him if I am feeling bad. Like for instance, I lost my mom due to lung cancer my senior year and I get really upset about that, so sometimes I need to blow some steam off or whatever and I get frustrated in the wrong ways. So he says that I use my mom's death as a crutch/an excuse to be mean to him or something. And, that just doesn't make sense to me.

I'm confused.

1 Answer

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  • 10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    It may mean that he wants to be single.

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