My husband is paraplegic and so can't have children and is really depressed? :(?

Honey, you ARE fortunate in that you were able to at least have one child! She IS a "miracle child" for sure. You always can remind him of that too, of how blessed you are to have your daughter. Tell him your daughter needs two parents to live in a happy environment also & to try to do everything in his power to help make her happy, that she at least does deserve that much. Is there any way you could afford Inverto fertilization? IF you could, that at least would be one way to assure you of at least getting pregnant even tho I'm SURE it costs a LOT of money. IF he's depressed, at least he CAN go to your family Dr. who can give him meds. easily for depression. These meds. DO work well as I'm on one myself & couldn't do without it. That at least WOULD be of help to him. My Dr. told me there are so many folks walking around depressed who NEED meds. that so easily could be helped if they'd just ask. I'd about beg him to go see your family Dr. for help with that & NOT to be ashamed in ANY way about doing it. Also, if he won't go to counseling, you yourself could go by yourself & get help. You could learn & find out what to do to both help yourself as well as be able to help him too. This surely couldn't hurt. So IF he refuses, at least you could go yourself. I'm SURE it would be of help to you. You also could remind him it would not be like it was yrs. ago tho as he was going for a different reason. If nothing else, I'd about beg him to go see your family Dr. to get himself on depression meds. He'd be quite surprised as to how much they would not only help him, but in turn be of help to all of you. Don't give up on him, Honey, you can help him get help IF he'll allow you to...the best to you...:)

i cannot believe the vicious and insanely rude posts here. You people absolutely disgust me.

My FIL has been a paraplegic since he was 26 [now 66] before any of his 4 children were born. I married his last child, his only son :) This CAN happen. My advice is this; contiue to understand, as you most likely have, that for people in your situation, this process can take a lot longer than 'normal'. I would also suggest speaking to a few other doctors about this and if you have not already, find a fertility specialist, as there are other ways to conceive a child beyond the old fashioned way. I can empathize with how your husband feels, my FIL had the same feelings for a long time. Stay positive, for both of you, and if he is able to 'rise' to the occasion, simply tell im that you enjoy the lessons! He did not ask to be in hs situation and it is not his fault. Sally fourth, and good things WILL happen. I hope that for the others here who feel the need to be so heartless towards you, don't find themselves with a spouse that leaves them because they don't want to deal with their endless chemotherapy or having to change a bag for them because they have lost the use of their lower extremities. Carma is a powerful thing. Be well!

I am now 80 years young. I have six adult children and seven grandchildren. My first five children were adopted at birth and my sixth child I gave birth to. All six children have been loved from the minute I held them. I feel no difference between the daughter I gave birth to and the babies I held for first time when they were 6-7 days old.

There are so many children needing love and a family. If you investigate it thoroughly and decide that you would like to adopt, I guarantee you that having this wonderful child in your family, will give you joy and love in your family. Of course, it is according to how you would bring them up. If you, like me, love them all the same, whether you gave birth to one and not the other, then you will bring into this world another family who will leave their mark with love for all children.

Shame should not come into this subject at all. Maybe you have been given the opportunity to share your love with a child that needs you. Maybe everything that has happened in your lives, as in mine, has put you on a certain path where other doors are opened to you for a good reason.

It is not what happens to a person that really matters, it is according to how you react to what happens to you. One person can go into despair while another will pull their boot straps up and say "Oh well, that means I am meant to walk another path" and make it a positive experience instead of a negative one.

It is up to the both of you to work together, be positive, especially with your little girl in mind.

You need to explain to your daughter that nature decided that she was the only child you would have. And make it real clear that you both think that is a great thing...because now you can lavish all your love and attention on her.

What both you and your husband need to realise is that all this focus on "oh we can't have another baby" is going to eventually filter through to her and she will assume that you are so sad because she isn't "enough". You may not mean that at all, but kids are funny little things and tend to blame themselves for everything that goes wrong in a family.

Wow it Sounds as in case you're being very supportive. it might help to reiterate that it is not with the flexibility to undergo babies which makes a guy a guy...many adult men can do this. It takes a actual guy to strengthen a toddler and earn the affection and comprehend of his spouse which he of course has. Congratulations on your miracle toddler, hoping for yet another for you.

There are plenty of only children out there. If he keeps on being depressed about not having another child, the one you have can suffer from it. Can't you guys just be happy to have one? Spoil and love the heck out of her and just live.

I know and understand FULLY what you are going through. If you would like to talk with someone away from the idiots on this website, feel free to email me at jennagirsweet@yahoo.com. Happy to remain anonymous if you want! Take care!

What BS. Your husband cannot have any more.. to bad so sad. Them's the brakes. He has one to love: Rosie. YOU are the one who is in baby making zombie mode, do not blame the kid or your husband. Life is what you make of it, you are making it a real pain by not being honest with anyone. Have no more children & get on with life. Save your BS for the garden.

I wonder if none of this would have happened if your daughter wasn't allowed to keep begging for a sibling.

Something about this situation speaks volumes about a lack of wisdom.

Perhaps you are the one that needs counseling on how to conduct yourself and how to instruct your daughter to conduct herself given the limitations that your husband has to live with.

You both need instruction in how to support the husband/father in this situation so that he can recognize his successes.

my ex wife's bff was married to a guy, like your husband.

when she was getting married, it was like... she was a hero, marrying a guy for the heart.

well, few years later, after the divorce, I hit her up at least 10x.

she got pregnant, had the child.

now, since then, I'm married with a wonderful family of my own.

she's in same boat as you, wants 2nd child.

and no, I totally refused when she wanted to meet for lunch, at our old 'quickie' motel. (again, I'm married to a real hottie with a wonderful family now)

Now it's pretty clear who the real father was on their 1st child.