If you are disabled do you feel like you have to settle for anyone who will accept the disability?

I never wanted to settle with just anyone who would want me. I waited for the right guy to come along and we fell in love with each other. I would rather have stayed single forever than settle for someone who I didn't really feel was right for me, but then again I've never wanted children and I'm used to being alone a lot, so remaining single wouldn't have been that terrible for me.

I initially got to know my husband online, but we met soon afterwards and had a long distance relationship for 15 months before we decided to move in together. We've been together for 10 years now and still going strong.

Both me and my husband have disabilities and neither one of us ever had a problem with dating someone with disabilities and it has almost never been a problem that both of us have disabilities.

Being able to accept my disability has been a lifelong struggle for me. However, I have realized that I am still a good person even with my disability and that my disability does NOT define who I am. I am definitely a lot more than my disability. I was born with CP and now I am married with a five year old little boy.Slowly, I have come to realize that no matter what anybody says to me about my disability I cannot let it get me down for very long, although I think there will be always days where it will. I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 23, and I am almost 32 now. Another thing is that I moved away from where I grew up and started my life over with a clean slate. I think that played a big part in starting to accepting myself for who I am.

I would never settle for anyone on the basis of my disabilities. If you can't accept someone as they are then you are not able to accept yourself. I agree appearances are important to a certain degree, but, not to the point of looking like an abercrombie guy. The most important thing I would think would be finding someone who you have something in common with why not a guy with a disability? I am in a relationship with a man who has a disability and it is simular like my own which sometimes helps. As far as having babies, well, don't you think you are jumping the gun? Start out with finding someone who is kind hearted first and then go from there. I would definitely move slow and narrow your expectations a little.

I am 52 years old and have never had to "settle" for anyone in my life. Despite being disabled, I have had several wonderful relationships.

Good looks mean nothing, they can be lost in an instant. They are only important in a relationship if you are superficial and cannot look at the inner beauty of a person.

I have facial deformities and most people would definitely consider me ugly. I have the most wonderful man who is very attractive, we've been together over 10 years. My looks or my disability are not what is important in our relationship. He tells me I am the most beautiful person he has ever met. That means more than being told you are the most beautiful looking person they have ever met.

Never change for anyone. No man is worth changing who you are just to be accepted.

Settle for anyone? No. I haven't actually ahd too much trouble with pathetic people looking for a person to play on and off again friends with...I guess because my being "handicapped" (aka WEIRD to my fellow highschoolers) chases off the people who are too biggoted or immature to have a meaningful friendship. The friends I've made since my disability became apparent have been more dependable and predictable in our interactions (unlike the freaks in middle school who run off and start a rumor whenever they feel like it) and much more reliably pleasant. We share the same intrests, which is a definite strongpoint. We often joke about my condition, which is relaxing to know we can do that. I don't have a boyfriend at this point, and don't want one right now. Although I've met some potential candidates for boyfriend status...

I am not married by choice, but I have been in a relationship with a man who by anyone's estimation is a great catch for the past 15 years. I have never nor will I ever settle. I have raised my (adopted) son alone for 28 years and I don't think he has been negatively effected in any way by my disability (nor I by his.)

When you are really ready to have an adult relationship you will discover a whole new set of priorities in the man you want to marry.

Added: You are so not ready for an adult relationship. The first thing a person sees is what vain, shallow people are concerned about. The last two men I was/am seriously involved with are nothing special to look at. I can remember in both instances upon first seeing them having a feeling of resistance, even angst, on account of how they looked, but I refused to let that color how I felt about them. Thank goodness I could do that, because they are both some of the most amazing men you could ever meet. Both became more attractive to me as I grew to care about them. Both have treated me like a princess. Both have never allowed my disability to be an impediment to anything we wanted. I am a very lucky woman. Someday maybe you will mature and you can be one too.

Do I feel like I should settle for the first thing that come along?.....H**L NO!

Do I feel like i should "settle for whomever comes to me?... Also, H**L NO!

Would I ever date a disabled person? Yes, I have & I live with a disabled person now

You say you are picky about guys... because you are looking for a white, really good looking, abercrombie or guido... I am sorry... and I hate to tell you this, but if you are basing any relationship on your man being "Cute"... then you are much to immature to be considering a serious relationship. Dating.. sure... Marriage and Babies... NO

People who say "well, if he can't accept you for who you are is not worth it"... are 100% right

and changing yourself... for someone else... is WOW... so wrong... why is it wrong? because someone inspiring you to be the best you can be is one thing.... someone whom you change for just to please them... is not sustainable over the challenges of marriage and kids

So... this isn't about settling... it is about finding the person who has the qualities that you want & need for the long-term.... those qualities have nothing to do with looks or able-body

EDIT: Based on your "let's be honest" statement.... I know you feel like i am being mean to you and perhaps even unfair to you... but, honestly, what you said in that paragraph is just more proof to my point. If Looks are so important and if this is what you base a relationship on (or one of the important factors to you) then what is going to happen as those looks fade or when weight gain sets in? What are you going to do if you base your choice on able-body hot guy (who wants to get married & have kids & seems nice at the moment)..... only to have any of these things happen (1) him have disability slammed on him and become non-able-bodied (2) him realize that not much common ground to keep the relationship long-term so he leaves you with 2 kids aged 5 & 3 because y'all rushed into things & didn't find common passions in life (3) your opinion of what is hot & attractive change, because you based it on looks rather chemistry.. with that you treat him like he isn't hot anymore or you expect him to change something for you to make him seem hot... and because of this, he feels the passion is gone, alienated from the relationship & has an affair just so he can feel attractive again?

i think you have a proble, why do you not like yourself. if you are black and you like white guys. its strange you get and bad people of all races and cultures. may be you should concentrate in liking yourself and looking for goodness and consideration. looking at colour is shallow look in the mirror and when you realize your own beauty you will find someone you deserve.

Yes, I'd date someone who's disabled. Many guys would.

hi you should write for a living - i think you are very talented - maybe for teenagers - you sound a bit like holden caulfield... i am being sincere - i understand your dilemna too - i wouldnt date someone with a disability and i do wonder why men are interested in me with mine.