good blonde jokes......?

A blonde year:

January - Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.

February - Couldn't work in a pharmacy because the bottles wouldn't fit into the typewriter.

March - Got excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months because the box said "2-4 years".

April - Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.

May - Couldn't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets.

June - Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition, complained to the judges that the other swimmers were using their arms.

August - Told her blonde friend to hurry when trying to get into their locked car using a coat hanger because it was starting to rain and the top was down.

September - When asked what the capital of California was: answered "C."

October - Hates M &M's because they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked a turkey for 4 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 120.

December - Couldn't call 911 because there was no "11" on any phone button.

****

A professor came up with a lying detector chair that works like this; you lie, the chair drops you to the floor. So he conducted research to see if it will work. First came a brunette who sat on the chair and said "Ur the best teacher" and she ended up on the floor. Next came a blonde who said "I think" and before she knew it, she was on the floor.

***

A blonde, red head, and brunette are chased by the police and run to a farm. There, each one of them hides in one sack, the brunette in the 1st sack, the red head in the 2nd, and the blonde in the 3rd. The police see the three sacks and poke the first one. "Woof!" The brunette barked. "Just a dog," a cop said, poking the 2nd bag. "Meow!" the red head meowed. "Just a cat," the policeman said. Then another policeman poked the third bag. "Potatoes," the blonde said in her sweetest voice.

***

A blonde, brunette, and red head are about to be executed. On the electric chair, the brunette says "I am from Grace University and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene for the innocent." After someone pulls the switch for the electric chair nothing happens and everyone thinks that indeed she is from Grace University and she is innocent. After the brunette left, the red head sat on the chair saying "I am from Creighton School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene for the innocent." After the switch is pulled everyone believes that she is innocent and she should go. After the red head leaves it is the blonde's turn. The blonde proudly says "I graduated in the University of Alabama and got a degree in Electrical Engineering and believe me, no one will get electrocuted unless you plug the switch in

Doggy Style Jokes

A blind man enters a Lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar

stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while the blind guy

yells to the bartender: "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?' A deathly

silence

transcends the bar. In a deep, husky, menacing voice, the woman next to

him

says: "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The

bartender

is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and I'm a 6' tall, 200lb blonde with a

black belt in Karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde

and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde and she's a

pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell

that

joke?"

The blind man pauses to think, and says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to

explain it five times."

how do you get a blonde to laugh on friday?

you tell her a joke on monday

did u hear about those two blondes wh froze to death at the movie drive-in?

they went to see ; CLOSED FOR WINTER

a brunette walks in the room and see's a blonde hanging on a rope from her waist and the brunnette asks the blonde "what are you doing now?" and the blonde replies "im commiting suicide" and the brunnete say " you know your suppose to tie it around your neck" and the blonde says "i know but i couldnt breath"

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3 pregnant women at the doctors office, a brunette, a redhead and a blonde. they are all getting a check-up.

the brunette, ' I know we're having a boy cause my boyfriend was on top when we concieved '

The redhead, ' I knw we're having a girl cause I was on top '

The blonde starts crying, the other girls ask if she's ok.

' we did it doggy style! '

Walk your lunch outside or to another location at work instead of sitting and eating for your desk.

Walk your lunch outside or to another location in the office instead of sitting and eating at your desk.

How do you stop a black man from raping a white woman? Throw em a basketball.

take 5 little dishes a day rather then 3