Devastated that my girlfriend ended it? Should I wait until she comes back around?

Question

Complicated but I'll try to keep it short. We are both 33 years old. We had each other for a class in HS and reconnected after all this time. On our first "date" we connected like we never had with anyone before. I asked her how it was possible she was single. she dropped the bomb. She stilled lived with her daughters dad but the relationship is dead and he was an abusive leach that just smoked weed all day. She cried and poured her heart out. I agreed to proceed with the relationship because all the signs were that we were meant for each other. In the months that followed we communicated and saw each other in secret. She went all in with me and even said she loved me first. My last significant relationship ended badly and i managed to guard myself from any pain for 8 years before I also went all in with her. I loved her with all my heart and promised to raise her daughter as my own. A year later to the month, she became less and less involved. I pressured her for more time together and a little more effort for her to leave. 3 days we had a discussion of how I didn't feel I we were important anymore and she became upset and she couldn't do it anymore. I was crushed. She will not answer my texts, emails and I can only reach her at work but it's a shallow conversation, understandably. I treated her like a queen and the only mistake I believe I made was wanting more after a year of enduring her living with a douchbag. It hurts so badly, I can't stop thinking about her. I can not eat and Ive been drinking too much. Will she come around? Should I wait? I'm so confused.

Update:

Thank you. All of you. I know it's only been a few days and it may sound it's just my emotions talking but I don't want anyone else. I went nearly a decade without opening my heart to anyone and I honestly feel i never will again.

More detail: The dude refuses to leave. She is his meal ticket, he doesn't work and calls her the most unimaginable names. He thinks he is gangster and she is petrified of his reactions. I understood all that. Just not sure if I have a chance for her to realize she must be with me.

yeahhh buddy · Accepted Answer

I'm going through the same thing at the moment. I was my boyfriend for 2 years and it is the most pain I have vet dealt with. Like a heavy feeling in my stomach. I haven't eaten in 4 days but I still talk to my ex. It's probably better if you don't talk to her for now because although it's hurting it's just easier to get over her. My ex and I have spoken everyday, even met up, and once I seen him I just got back to square one of missing him again. Stay strong. It will be okay. Your not alone and people get trough this stuff all the time. I just broke down and cried my eyes out for an hour and it helps. Just try to keep itself busy

3d!Th_8) · Answer

1. She stayed with her ex even AFTER you told her you would raise her daughter as your own.. Not many man would do that so you willing to do it PROVED to her you really loved her.

2. You treated her right and were willing to take her and her daughter in with you. It was she who DIDN'T WANT to leave and CHOSE to stay. 

3. If he was her ex then why see you in secret???

4. If he mistreated her and smoked weed all day then WHY did she stay even after she had a chance to leave with a man who loved her and gave her his complete support???

Hunny you did everything you could to show her you loved her. If she's not telling you what's on her mind or how she feels then it just shows she doesn't trust you. It was her decision to end it which means she wants nothing to do with you. Move on and find someone who does appreciate all the sweet things and all the caring that you're willing to give.
GOOD LUCK!

Anonymous · Answer

you know what you did nothing wrong. there should be more guys like you who WANT to spend time with the girl and would do anything for her. it's a shame we always end up with the wrong ones who hurt us . Just stick to it and get out - she doesn't desrve your time honestly i'm going thru the SAME thing with my bf. he always wants to be with his friends. we've been together for 3 years. he said he will never change and I think I'd like a man in my life who WANTS to spend time with me and would choose me over 'friends'


best of luck

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Devastated that my girlfriend ended it? Should I wait until she comes back around?

3 Answers