Husband taking over mother-in-law finances has created nothing but tons of stress. What do we do?

Question

My MIL lives 500 miles away & had hip surgery this summer.  She needed someone to pay her bills b/c last time she went to the hospital, my brother in law didn’t pay any bills & spent all of her money so the house got foreclosed on.  We didn’t want her to get evicted from her apt while she was in the hospital & after care home, so my husband brought his mother’s purse back w/ us so he could pay her bills which any good son would do.  Now comes the complicated part…

This purse & entire financial issue has created nothing but turmoil in our family.  When his brother found out about him having the purse & the fact he wouldn't have access to their mother's money, he called the cops & DHS on me saying I am an unfit mother to my then 7 week old son & exposing him to drugs.  So I had to meet w/ a social worker to have all the allegations turn out to be unfounded.

Then my MIL gave my husband the wrong PIN # to her debit card too many times so the bank put a stop to it & she would never call the bank to have it reactivated.  So my husband took a day off of work & took the 9 hr trip there to become power of attorney & set up her bank account & they sent a new debit card to our house so we could pay bills.  My husband ended up getting so sick after the trip he missed 4 days of work, so a week’s worth of missed wages & we live paycheck to paycheck w/ an infant.

The debit card FINALLY came & we had it no more than 1 week before the card wouldn’t work.  My MIL had asked my husband to go to Wal-Mart & buy a set of dishes for his oldest daughter’s apt warming present & send them to her.  Before we could pay any bills the card was turned off.  His no good brother went to the bank & told them someone was using her card fraudulently & turned the card off.  When my husband who is the POA called the bank, they said his brother was authorized on the acct.  This is a BRAND NEW account so she had to have added him to it.

This whole ordeal has created nothing but turmoil & stress on our marriage, family, and my husband’s job.  What should we do?  We don’t want my MIL to lose her stuff, but she is putting up so many road blocks & not allowing my husband to just help her.

? · Accepted Answer

Talk with your husband and convince him that he can't take care of his family and his mother if she continues to put up road blocks.  He should have a serious talk with his mother and let her know if she causes one more problem in allowing him to help her, then he will be forced to walk away.  She will straighten up after that.  I know it' s his mother, but she's being uncooperative.

caraohara · Answer

Your husband need to put all her financial business into one bank account , and then set up a direct debit to pay all her bills from that account .  I don't understand why he hasn't done that .  We had to do that for my mother and it worked out very well ...we never had to handle her money at all ..the bank did all that .

chris n · Answer

You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped and MIL doesn't does she.  She wants BIL to look after her finances.  Leave the pair of them to each other.  Your husband should tell his mum that he isn't going to do anything further for her because she wants his brother to handle her money.  The fact that BIL will steal from her is sad - but she doesn't trust your husband enough does she.  Wash your hands of the whole matter.

hitndajz · Answer

Put your MIL on the streets...that's the only way that she'll learn that your BIL is a crook...sorry Nana.

Anonymous · Answer

agree with upstairs

Trending News

Husband taking over mother-in-law finances has created nothing but tons of stress. What do we do?

5 Answers