Opinions on the poem I recently wrote- Cheating?

It's a good poem, has all the ingredients of the process of love/hate.

I think you need to shorten the lines, try to keep them somewhat equal. Try not to use the same word, or form of the word, in close proximity because it causes the reader to skip the words and they miss the message. I learned this from one of the many writing books I've studied. i.e., Never.

It is rich with imagery, but stanzas will help the readers see the pictures more clearly.

.

ok, calm down. Take a deep breath. each and every thing may well be super. take a jointly as jointly as you would be waiting to communicate to your parents on my own interior the living room. do no longer do it at dinner although, they might get distracted with nutrients or the time. Do it jointly as you would be waiting to fairly sit down down and communicate with them. Do it jointly as there are not any visitors around, and in case you have lots of time. tell them the entire improper concerns approximately your college, and how it injury your thoughts that they are going to possibly no longer do a little ingredient approximately it. in the event that they start a sparkling area, or interrupt you with yelling, fold your arms and take a breath, it isn't any purpose for scuffling with, do no longer yell lower back. tell them approximately the different college you may wait to, and all it is qualities, and that it is ideal around the line, and how your grades might of course improve in case you went there. Your melancholy might sparkling up and not extra journeys to the scientific employer.

This is great..I love it...Looks exactly like something I would write..awesome job!

To long and borring