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Proof read this poem. Don't worry it's short!!!?
Can you tell me the errors in this and tell me if it's good???
“Where I’m From”
I am from crawling
and walking.
I’m from playing with toys
and stepping on Legos.
From wrestling and quarrelling with my older brother.
I’m from neighborhood adventures with my friends
and countless hours spent on videogames.
I’m from Cartoon Network and Disney Channel
From nausea after riding The Titan at Six Flags.
I’m from family get-togethers and grandpa’s stories.
From eating turkey on Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I’m from warm pancakes with syrup before the Sunday morning sermon.
From having religion instilled in me everyday.
I’m from stories of Noah, Abraham and David.
From small schools and close friends.
From kind teachers and hard classes.
I’m from science and technology
From filing cabinets to hard drives
and old film cameras to memory cards.
I’m from hating books and loving Firefox
and from flat screen TVs with Xbox live.
I’m from Facebook and Yahoo
from iPods and laptops
I’m from scientific theory
that questions religion.
I’m from evolution and the big bang.
from something that comes from nothing.
I’m from Republicans and Democrats.
From Liberals and Conservatives.
I’m from terrorists
that cause disaster.
From war and peace
and economic depressions.
I’m from a society controlled by the media.
I’m from simple life with guidelines to follow.
From working hard at school to work hard at college
to work hard at my career to be successful.
I’m from questioning why and how.
I’m from trying to find the right path.
I’m from trying to find reality.
3 Answers
- ?Lv 45 years ago
I dont quite be responsive to approximately what you're writing yet unwell supply you some tips: you have: "This pearl it extremely is as super as a sea gulls egg and as applicable by using fact the moon became Kino’s international the opposite direction up." - sea gulls' <- apostrophe, the egg belongs to the sea gull, additionally i think of you like "applicable by using fact the moon which became Kino’s international the opposite direction up" i think of you ought to additionally state the three approaches it replaced Kino interior the 1st para. i'm somewhat puzzled approximately: in this section in Kino’s existence, the main suitable way Kino replaced replaced into after he kills the tracker. Kino slowly realizes that Coyotito is lifeless. <- i think of you forgot something right here??? final component Im to uncertain approximately your final sentence - evaluate revising it Kino went from being hardworking and dependable, to grasping and disenchanted, then to offended, and finally careful. consistent with danger: "Kino went from being a hardworking and dependable kin guy to a grasping and disenchanted guy. interior the top he became to anger and finally wariness by using fact the pearl destroyed his existence." <- or something like that. i'm hoping this facilitates
- Anonymous9 years ago
its good :D