Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.

Do you like the poem I wrote?

Thee End

By: Kaeleigh Pannell

Lookin outside its so dark and cloudy

thats how it feels all around me,,

Tryna run from thee pain

but I always get stuck in the pouring rain,,

Thee past is the past well the past is yesterday,,

so fresh in my mind its like a test and im failing

this @#$% just aint availing,,

Now look outside and its hailing

I've lost it so im mailing,,

Thee heart I just ripped out of my chest

straight to your door thee exact address

do you want me now that im dead and gone

and our only memories are cold and hard,

, now im trailing six feet under

my veins are cold,but my heart is colder

for thee rest of your life you will hear

the beat of thee heart that you helped shear

and it will cry all my tears,,

You should have saw thee blood spatter

all over the wall

in such pretty patterns,,

I saw them because my sight it lingered

and I traced the lines with my little finger

,,I hope it says I love you which is what I tried to write

but my memory is so foggy now that I have died

2 Answers

Relevance
  • Amber
    Lv 4
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    No, I do not like the poem you wrote. I am sorry you feel sad, but poetry is often a very personal thing that should be used to give ones self reflection and self-appraisal. Perhaps you should not post such things on yahoo for any sad troll to see.

    PS (that means post-script)- You're grammar is terrible, you need to practice more if you wish to write.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Honestly, the rhymes scheme is everywhere, it's depressing, and your word choice is rather... Elementary. There are words in the poem that could be replaced with words for big kids with the use of the thesaurus. :) So technically, it needs work, but otherwise, whatever floats your boat I guess? It's awful in my opinion. But dont get offended, you asked(;

    Source(s): Big kid school.
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.