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Do you like the poem I wrote?
Thee End
By: Kaeleigh Pannell
Lookin outside its so dark and cloudy
thats how it feels all around me,,
Tryna run from thee pain
but I always get stuck in the pouring rain,,
Thee past is the past well the past is yesterday,,
so fresh in my mind its like a test and im failing
this @#$% just aint availing,,
Now look outside and its hailing
I've lost it so im mailing,,
Thee heart I just ripped out of my chest
straight to your door thee exact address
do you want me now that im dead and gone
and our only memories are cold and hard,
, now im trailing six feet under
my veins are cold,but my heart is colder
for thee rest of your life you will hear
the beat of thee heart that you helped shear
and it will cry all my tears,,
You should have saw thee blood spatter
all over the wall
in such pretty patterns,,
I saw them because my sight it lingered
and I traced the lines with my little finger
,,I hope it says I love you which is what I tried to write
but my memory is so foggy now that I have died
2 Answers
- AmberLv 49 years agoFavorite Answer
No, I do not like the poem you wrote. I am sorry you feel sad, but poetry is often a very personal thing that should be used to give ones self reflection and self-appraisal. Perhaps you should not post such things on yahoo for any sad troll to see.
PS (that means post-script)- You're grammar is terrible, you need to practice more if you wish to write.
- Anonymous9 years ago
Honestly, the rhymes scheme is everywhere, it's depressing, and your word choice is rather... Elementary. There are words in the poem that could be replaced with words for big kids with the use of the thesaurus. :) So technically, it needs work, but otherwise, whatever floats your boat I guess? It's awful in my opinion. But dont get offended, you asked(;
Source(s): Big kid school.