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How to deal with someone's passing away?
Today was a really odd day for my school. It was announced that a student from my school committed suicide. And a lot was running through my mind and I just can't stop thinking about it and I'm just like stressing myself out.
I have an important History test tomorrow and I can't even concentrate on what I'm studying. I had a French speech exam today and I botched it, I forgot everything.
I have a really weak stomach and I'm not good at taking things lightly so I threw up today during school and then went to swim practice and that probably wasn't smart. I also have the most important swim meet of the season tomorrow and I keep psyching myself out.
My mother kept telling me to stop thinking. and I think that what she meant by that is that I should stop thinking about him.
What do I do? These kinds of things don't happen very often at all where I live. My grandparents are still alive and everything so I have no idea what it's like to loose a loved one. I'm scared and can't keep myself from not crying randomly.
Thank you.
@Fructose: Not close, no. I really don't even know the kid. What hurt me the most is that I overheard some of his friends (there were so many) saying things like "I had no idea that he was ever upset" and "He was such a happy person" and "He would be the last person I would think to do something like this".
So like anyone could do it and we just won't even have a clue why or how these feelings developed inside of them. Because they appeared to be happy people but turns out, they weren't.
I'm mostly just scared.
Thank you though, so much. and I'm sorry to hear about your girlfriend's brother's loss.
8 Answers
- JodyLv 79 years agoFavorite Answer
Your reactions are perfectly normal. I hope the prinicpal is wise enough to hold a grief conference for students and faculty in the next day or two.
What do you do? You keep putting one foot in front of the other. You talk about it. You cry, feel scared, worry about your loved ones...and do what you have to do. This is life on life's terms and sometimes it is very harsh.
Death is one of the hardest things we have to go through, but remember, on the other side of death is spiritual life. Just becasue the flesh body dies doesn't mean the soul and spirit die. They don't.
Jeasus died and resurrected to show us exactly what happens. When he visited the apostles after his death, he was in a body that looked the same, went right through the walls, and so will we.
Have faith in God. Pray. Stick close to family.
- 9 years ago
That's honestly really awful, and I've never experienced loss so I can't give advice I just thought I'd write something to show my sympathies to Fructose and to the boy's family- I do remember early on last year, a girl in my grade's sister died, and my head was full of things, thinking what if one of my siblings died, what would happen, and that it is far, far, far, far, far, far worse thing to happen to the main people experiencing it.
About schoolwork and swimming, here are some suggestions
1) you vomited today, and if you aren't feeling very well or upset, go to a doctor and get a medical certificate so you don't have to go to school tomorrow, or to get some allowances made. Really, although I have no idea what the time is, it may help
2) Try to focus on your work. Say, with a textbook. Just notice and accept any thoughts that come into your head. They aren't bad. Just focus on it, and if it helps, describe what you are reading, read it outloud. My social worker suggested this to me, and it was a godsend. You can try to draw mind maps, diagrams.
I really hope what I said made sense.
- LiseLv 45 years ago
My cousin died quite a few years ago. The last time I saw him was at my wedding. The last thing I said to him was you'll be next. he said no I don't think so. He died shortly after that. The pain of losing him is still there because we were very close. I cried for quite a long time. I was also a few days short of having my first child when he died. I know he would not want me to live my life grieving and to live on and make a good life for myself. I will never forget him. The very odd thing is now the many years later I have a son now who looks an awful lot like him. feels almost like a sign that things are okay. He has his cheeks and smile. I will never forget him and have told my children the many things that we did together and informed them about his tragic death and how hopefully his error will not be theirs.
- 2nd Best KillerLv 79 years ago
The thing is that it is already done. I know that lots of things are on your mind right now. It's normal, I guess. I haven't experienced the lost of a relative but I do know how does it feel to lose someone you love, someone so close as a friend is. I remember one of my friends died from overdose in 2008, a lot of things went through my mind when the teacher told us he died. It was disturbing that he did something so stupid and a lot of things went through my mind. lt made me so sad that someone so young would do something so harmful with their body, also his reasons to do that, which are unknown to me, were depressing to me at that time.
It's pretty much the same with someone committing suicide. It's not something that just happens everywhere.
l know it is disturbing and frustrating because everything is already done but don't let it affect your life. The only thing you can do and learn from this horrible experience is to be more sensitive and be there when a friend needs you or is having problems. Let time do its part and continue with your life.
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- FructoseLv 69 years ago
Were you close to this person? Unfortunately, I don't think there's any quick fix. Don't try to stop yourself from crying, it's better to get it out of your system. My girlfriends brother killed himself a few months ago and she was a wreck for a long time, but she's slowly getting over it. She still breaks down and cries about once and a while, but she always seems to feel better afterwards. Don't worry, it'll run it's course. If getting a bad grade on a test is worst that happens to you, it's not so bad.
I hope you feel better.
@Franzy - Yeah, it's usually not the people you'd expect. When you're depressed you put up walls and create a persona to cover it up. The "happiest" couples are usually the ones that split up, too.
Thanks for the condolences.
@Suicidal - I really didn't know the guy all that well, but it's still a weird feeling. And what affects her affects me, too. Thanks, though, that's really sweet of you.
- 9 years ago
Awwh, well it happens. You are really emotionally hurt. This is life; we have to accept the reality. I know how it feels. I'm also very emotional just like you. Once I found a new born bird in my balcony. I named it as "Birdie" ans very soon after 5-6 days, it died! It was 6th of July '11 and the very next day I had a computer theory test. I was crying hard all the day and wasn't really able to concentrate while I was preparing myself for the computer test for which I had to deal with,tomorrow. Birdie was really close to me. My mother sympathised with me and also tried to console me in every possible way she could. She taught me and said that this is life... We have to accept it no matter what. I somewhat am understanding it now. We just can't keep running away or deny the truth and its reality. We have to accept what the truth is. You should be bold and strong to cope up with theses situations. RIP to your school friend.
- 9 years ago
First of all, it is normal to have these kinds of feelings. Usually the school has counselors to help other kids deal with this, or answer your questions about suicide. I am surprised your school didn't do this.Some kids have questions like...if that happened to so and so...how do I know I won't have these kinds of thoughts too? It can leave you feeling vunerable. Try talking to a school counselor about your feelings. You are human to feel sad. It's ok. Also,since you have never lost anyone in your family, you may have thoughts of the afterlife. Talk to your Parents about these concerns if I have mentioned anything you may have wandered about. Try praying...it helps.
- Anonymous9 years ago
medication