What do you do when you don't like your husband anymore?

I'm trying to figure out what it is you "love" about him that keeps you with him...He's DANGEROUSLY overweight and does nothing about it and expects you to love him "as is" ????

Spends money you don't have like a "fish" so to speak??? Those are issues that break MANY a marriage, for you cannot HELP but grow further and further apart...especially when one see's "no problem" and CHOOSES not to help themselves.

He is not a good mate. He is not helping, he is hindering. While marriage vows are important? They do NOT trump commonsense and give license to mistreat your spouse in these ways - PERIOD.

I guess I would give him an ultimatim in this grossly negligent situation...And yes, I would get a legal separation within the next six months if he didn't make some concerted changes in his health and lifestyle. Love only conquers so much dear...It STILL takes TWO to make a marriage work. He is not doing his part whatsoever...

Grace

The vows for being married is for better or for worse. I am sure it's not all bad, but if you think on the things that are bad more than the things that are not bad, those things that are bad will always seem big. Nobody is perfect, we all need help in some form or the other. I am sure there are things in you that he does not like. How would he feel knowing that you are sharing these things with the world and not justt with him? I am a wife like you and my husband falls short but so do I.

Regarding his weight loss, encourage him and maybe seek out weight loss programs for him or have a nutritionist come in and talk to your whole family. Get a financial adviser to come in that can shed light to his eyes for your financial state. As far as you being taken care of talk to him or take him out and show him how you would like to be taken care of.

Been married to my wife for almost 25 years. We've had great times together, and weathered some rough times, too. Been rich, been poor, seen and done nearly everything together. Know what? There are a few things that she does that just outright irritates the crap out of me. I really wish she didn't have those idiosyncracies. Know what else? If it means living without her, she can keep them as much as she likes. As irritating as some of her attributes are, I never want to be without her. I can live with them very easily.

On the other hand, before that I had an ex-wife for nearly 12 years. Problem was, she didn't want to be with me. But she wasn't willing to leave. So I left before she destroyed me.

He is what he is. He's not going to change. Either you can overlook his faults, or you can't. Up to you. And then you decide.

Too many women hold this stuff in until they just don't have the patience to fix any of them. You're not alone, but not in a good way.

Start asking him to do (or not do) things in a productive way. It's a proven fact that men respond to requests like "Will you.." "Would you.." much better than "Can you.." or "Why don't you..." or "Shouldn't you want to..." and also respond more quickly when you ask once and then drop it. Start trying a few things here and there, and be sure to boost his self esteem when he does them or other good things.

Good luck.

Are you attractive? Because if you're not you don't have many options.

Edit: now that I know you're attractive, I will seduce you. Send me a private email.