my daughter and i are no longer talking because i refused to help her pay her rent.?

Everyone has terrific answers, you're going to have a challenge choosing, I'm sure.

The only thing I'm gonna say is remember when your daughter was five or six and she was running across the street without looking both ways first? Remember how scared that made you? Remember how vital it was to you that you be able teach her to look both ways before crossing the street because you knew to not do so could be devastating. Even if it meant spanking her butt to help her remember.

I'm sure there many other things you had to teach her as she grew up that was painful for both of you. Growing is never easy, for those who grow or for those who guide the growth. Pruning stray runners is important to the growth yet can be painful. And that's what you're doing with this. It's the same thing you did to teach your daughter to look both ways before crossing that dangerous street just on another level.

And you'll have these kind of moments all her life where you will still guide her. After all, you will have always been where she is, but she will never have been where you are. And life is about growth, cause you're still growing and learning everyday, too. Just like she is.

It's time to prune again, Mom.

I bet they both have 98.00 for other things, just not the rent. It's not up to you to pay her rent, and don't allow her to guilt you into thinking it is. Remind her, SHE is the one that couldn't wait to grow up, and this is it. Now deal with it. Welcome to adulthood honey. I think counseling will help her a lot more than your 98.00. She started, and then boyfriend came and messed it all up, but only because she allowed it. Seems boyfriend is messing up her life, his life, his parents, and what about the baby? What chance does she have? IF you pay for anything, make it counseling. I bet the state would approve that, and if they found out boyfriend was living with her???? He is not an asset to anyone, only a liability. One last thing. Do NOT call her, but be ready when she calls you wanting something else, like a babysitter.

If she's not working, got state housing then chances are she's also getting some sort of pension/welfare payment that she should use to pay the difference in rent. Yes the boyfriend should be contributing too, he is after all the father to their child - and chances are if he's there every weekend he is actually ADDING to the costs of living by eating there, using more lights/power/water/gas, etc.

She considers herself adult enough to make life decisions like these then she needs to be adult enough to PAY HER OWN WAY!

You don't owe anything to your daughter after she turns 18. You aren't in the wrong. She should get a job and pay the $98 herself. And also, if she really wanted what is best for her daughter she would be asking the father for child support. She needs to get her priorities straight.

Welcome to the world of parenting your adult children :-)

Kids think their parents have money that " grows on trees"

They havent yet realized that parents are just a tad older

than they are..and still trying to make it on *their* own.

My parents are 85 and I still take for granted that they will pick up the restaurant tab, when they go out. You can play that kid role all your life..if the parents allow it. I never wanted my parents to think I couldnt make it on my own tho.

Of course, be there for your daughter if it comes down to them being thrown out on the streets homeless..but just bide your time..and let her grow up. Help in "one shot" ways like new clothes for the baby, or things like that..but the rest is up to her.

u and ur husband dont need to pay a single penny, this is her problem that looser need to pay 98 $ dont even let ur daughter move back in ur home, she neeed to find a job pay her expence, she is responsible, u guys are fair even more then fair, u have no obligation to pay any bill or part of rent, she need to go and ask for child support, need to arrange her own expence, her boy friend need to pay to her the part of rent and child support after all this babby belong to her and him ha ha ha ha ha ha

You know you're not in the wrong here. Before 18 years are up, you are bound, no question. For her to take such a demanding stance on the matter, makes it appear as if she believes assistance is owed to her.

daughters boyfriend should pay the rent, daughter should grow the hell up, i understand if she was trying hard and had no other way to pay it, both neither seems that way, you guys are right

You are on the rite track....she needs to grow up.

SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE A HARD HEADED DAUGHTER.

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR SPOILING HER.

GUESS YOU GOTTA USE YOUR "LOVE AND AFFECTION" METHODS NOW, DON'T YOU?