Should I keep trying or just let it go?

I can't actually believe I'm posting this on Yahoo! Answers. I didn't think I'd post this anywhere.

So first of all, I'm really lonely. Ugh, this whole thing is gonna sound dumb, but I don't really care. When I just turned 11 (I'm 13 now) I payed for this dumb kids game online. I found this really entertaining girl to talk to, and we talked on that game for about 6 months. The communication in it is horrible, it censors certain words that don't even make sense, so you've gotta spell it weirdly. For example, October would be:

"Octopus oh bee or"

I got pretty sick of having to type like that, so we finally tried to get another way to communicate. She told me her email (afterwards we both got banned for a week) by spelling out words with the numbers of letters of the alphabet. For example, if part of the email had an 'a' in it, it would be a 1. That took a while.

But anyhow, we finally started emailing eachother. This is the weird part that I don't even understand. After about a year of emailling, somehow I just got too shy to even say anything at all. I stopped responding, and then she started to think I was ignoring her. I wasn't, I just didn't know what to say anymore. I definitely wanted to talk to her, I just couldn't say anything. I don't know why.

After about 6 months I apologized (she was still trying to emailing me after 6 months..) and we started talking again. I couldn't get used to talking again at all, so I just stopped. Aand she's still sending me emails too. I'm an idiot. I just wish I wasn't so shy anymore. I'm shy around almost everyone. I used to not really care about what I said too much, but now I just think about what I'm going to say so much that I just decide not to say it.

This all sounds really dumb, doesn't it? I don't know how else to word it. I just wanna know what I should do. I feel like a huge jerk for not responding. I explained some of this to her but I felt too dumb to even explain the rest. Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention I'm homeschooled. <_<

Even when I was emailing her, I just felt really nervous. It took several days to respond just due to me being nervous. Yup.