How to forgive and forget and be Happy?

Can only surmise this man is a controlling nightmare if you have no friends or any kind of life without him. You sound like you allow people to walk on you....why are you giving even one second of thought to a person who may or may not exist, that created a malicious lie to ruin your life? You need to see a counselor from your church or just a regular counselor to get your gelatinous backbone to grow back, for your children's sake if not for your own happiness. PLEASE look at this as a blessing....if this person exists that he credits with the story, and he believed and is PROTECTING them over you, he's telling you a hard truth....you don't matter as much as this other person, even though you share offspring. Or there isn't anyone, and he's a coward who can't dig out the balls to face you and break up. GET PROFESSIONAL HELP....please do that for the kid's sake!!! He certainly doesn't care about your boy, who needs strength, not cowardice to guide him through life. I wouldn't want to spend one second with someone who did something so evil to me.

Good luck.....nice women finish last....you need to get in the race and fight and win for your kid!!! And BTW, don't have any more of them until you're stable and with a stable, stand-up, GOOD man, 'cause that isn't what you have now.

I am sorry, what a horrible thing for someone to do to you. You know as you journey through life that sometimes the "issue" is not the "real issue" It could be that your bf is just looking for an excuse to get out of the marriage. He has been with you 5 years, he hasn't married you yet, he might be making up an excuse to get out of the marriage and commitment. Assure him that while he might back out of the marriage......he can't back out of his job as a father and his child support, so make sure he knows you will take him to court for child support. Sometimes people that are narcissistic will turn their mess on other people in their lives. So if he is lying about something, he will accuse you of lying, if he is the one cheating, he will turn it around and make it sound like you are the one cheating instead. If you can tell when he lies to you, ask him if he cheated on you. Most times when people lie they talk faster and the pitch of their voice gets faster. He owes you better than a text, he owes you a face to face conversation. You are right about forgiveness. Ask the Lord to forgive them, then forget it. Focus on your son, focus on yourself, you really don't have time to dwell on these other people since they don't seem to be committed to you.

There comes a point in your life

when you realize:

Who matters,

Who never did,

Who won't anymore...

And who always will.

So, don't worry about people from your past,

There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future. Author Unknown

Hi, sorry to hear that from you. It must have hurt you for sure. I think the best way to forget about these thing is just to ignore them. You know a reality on ostrich(big bird), when he thinks there is some pr0blem he hides his head into sand just to ignore that trouble.

The thing is, when you dont go out with anyone, you dont chill out with friends and make every thing on yourself inside you gather some courage/guts but in outside people usually stares and envy you and your happy life and start some bullshit romours.

About your mate, he will really be a jerk if he wont belive a love of 5 year..even after you guys have baby. Is he just making a way to create bark in family? I really c0uldnt get him.

But dear if you have n0t made any mistakes and someone (how can that be your mate) misjudge you it must have hurt you lot. It will surely take some time to rec0ver(it will dont worry).. You try to be happy and ign0re such things.. Takecare

It sounds like your fiance is using this "person" who "made up the lie" as a scapegoat. And this is going to hurt more than your story does, but maybe he doesn't want to be with you any longer. It could be the case that he's trying to think of some (unimaginative) plot to have an excuse to break up with you. I think this because:

1. He refuses to talk to you about it. If he really believed it he WOULD talk to you, not just forget it.

2. He broke up with you and remains unwilling to change his position on that. If the break up was REALLY about you sleeping with someone else, wouldn't he try harder to figure out what happened and why you did it?

3. He doesn't seem to care about the fact that you "slept with someone else." He isn't asking about it at all.

4. He is vague about where he got the information. You assumed someone told him that and now he's just going along with it, refusing to give you an explanation.

5. He doesn't want to try and work through it, in fact it seems he's in a rush to get out of there.

I have no idea, obviously, but this is what it comes off as to me. Maybe you should try to confront him. He's probably feeling great thinking he has all the control over you, making you believe his story AND getting out of the relationship without looking like the 'bad guy.' Perhaps try switching around the dynamics: start accusing HIM of making it up, of looking for an excuse to get out, of being dishonest.

Regardless of what happens, good luck with your situation. :(

Oh, and you don't need to worry about the "person" who told the lie. I REALLY think they probably don't exist.

Anyway, maybe you will forgive your fiance for whatever it is that happened/happens next... but don't forget.

Your emotional involvement with the person is not letting you to forgive and move on with life. Happiness can be chosen. While facing the trials and tribulations of life, you can remain happy by being positive or unhappy by being negative.

Depending on external factors such as a new car, a job promotion, love of life partner, behaviour of friends, etc. to be happy gives you short term happiness because the external objects and circumstances are not permanent in nature. Make your happiness depends on your inner power and move on with the life, you never know what future hold for you.

No i could say "thank you" not a valentines day fan. i'm tremendously constructive yours would be extra suitable of yet i'll sing satisfied Birthday to you each and every time yiour Birthday is) And hopr you experience extra suitable. Get that neck probllem straitened out Thats have been given to be painful

none of this makes sense. when someone proposes that means you want to spend your life with them. that you totally trust them and believe in them. why then would he turn round the next day and come out with a load of crap about you shagging someone else?

i am wondering if he got cold feet and came up with this - you shagged someone else, as an excuse to finish things and dump you.

you can't "forgive" someone else when you don't even know who it is. i don't think there is anyone else who said bad things about you. i reckon your bf made it up because he cold cold feet.

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Time is a great healer so give it time, and in the meantime take care of the people that matter to you

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